by Free Britney at

Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip and its Caption Contest, a fun Friday afternoon tradition in which readers must come up with the best caption for a celebrity picture each week. The first edition of the contest didn't disappoint.

We got a lot of great captions this week for sure. Honorable mentions go out to CaptionPlanet, MathiasGorman, TX Chic and alli. But there can be only a single winner (per week) and as this week's, we selected Spencer's Flaccid Weeny (no doubt an homage to the great Spencer Pratt).

The winning caption appears beneath the celebrity photo below. Scroll down for the full list of hilarious replies. Thanks for playing and good luck this week!


"Quick! Gimme a dime bag!!! I need a fix."

:snort:

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by Mischalova at

We're sorry, Ricki Lake.

Our entertainment news spies have been focusing on the impressive weight gains of stars such as Kate Bosworth and Nicole Richie.

Ricki Lake, Derek Hough Picture

And this whole time, you've been shedding more pounds than drinks in the hand of Britney Spears on a typical Tuesday night.

"I think I had [that muscle] under all that fat all those years. I think it was just there," Lake told People magazine at the Choose Your Cause Launch Party and Charity Benefit at Fred Segal Fun in Santa Monica.

Working out with a trainer three times a week has done wonders for this former talk show host...

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by Free Britney at

Reality TV depicts real people in real environments - be it Toastee Toof and Deelishis on Flavor of Love or Mark Philippoussis on Age of Love.

That said, The Hills can no longer be called reality TV.

We've already seen the infamous Spencer-Heidi LAX dropoff pics (taken mere minutes before her return) and heard earlier today from Gavin Beasley, who went on a date with LC on The Hills and said how blatantly bogus the experience was.

Now, we've come across photos of the lovely Lauren Conrad at an intimate lunch with Whitney Port... and several cameramen, sound men, boom mics, light filters and fixtures, and multiple takes. But it feels like they're not even there!

As you can see above, this how it will look on The Hills ...

... but in real life, some guys from celebrity picture agencies got these shots of LC and Whitney - and a few of their closest production staff friends and their loads of equipment - at lunch on Thursday. Puts it in perspective, no?

Of course, we still love Whitney Port. That much isn't about to change! Wonder if her reported boyfriend, Ben Lyons, was anywhere on hand?

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by Free Britney at

At least that's how the actress perceives it.

After adamantly stating you'd never see Natalie Portman naked on film, she finally went ahead a nude scene for Wes Anderson's Hotel Chevalier.

Now she regrets it - and says you won't see Natalie Portman nude again.

Unless you're Nathan Bogle, of course. But that's not the point.

"I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition," she said. "From now on, I'm going to trust my gut. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."

Yeah, yeah. While we can't help but respect Natalie's morals, we think it's a little premature to write sexy naked movie scenes altogether.

Anyway, here's Natalie Portman naked, sorta, in Hotel Chevalier ...

Natalie Portman Naked
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by Free Britney at

Singer Amy Winehouse has admits that her trouble with drugs almost killed her - and credits husband Blake Fielder-Civil with keeping her alive.

"I really thought it was over for me then," Winehouse recanted to the German news magazine Stern, referring to the night in August when a bloody melee left her hospitalized. "My husband Blake saved me. He brought me to the hospital."

The "Rehab" pop star canceled several performances after being hospitalized for what her rep described at the time as "exhaustion." Blake Fielder-Civil had rushed the singer to a central London medical center.

Within the month, Amy Winehouse's in-laws opened up about the mad hospital dash, and their daughter-in-law's problems with substance abuse.

"We are in hell," Georgette Fielder-Civil said. He added "People who take drugs don't care about other people but only care about their next fix."

Interviewed in Hamburg prior to a concert there last week, Amy Winehouse found the German reporter staring at the scars on her arms.

"Those are wounds, old wounds. You know. I wasn't well then, in August," Amy Winehouse said. But when the reporter asked if she was now clean of drugs, she snapped: "That's none of your business." Alright, then.

Amy and Blake: Just Hangin' Out

Just days later, the couple were arrested in Norway on October 18 for alleged drug possession. Guess old habits really do die hard for this crazy young pair.

Amy Winehouse also admitted the haze that life has become for her.

"Lots of times I have no idea what I'm doing. Not until the next day do I have any memory," she said. "Blake tells me later what happened. And then I'm ashamed."

Amy Winehouse said she's shocked at the situations she gets into - and says Blake Fielder-Civil often tells her what happened after the fact.

"I recently saw a picture of me when I got out of the hospital. I didn't even recognize myself," she said. "I believe that the pain makes me feel alive. Being willing to suffer for something means that I'm not just apathetic about them."

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by Free Britney at

When celebrities wear the same hot dresses, our staffers have no choice but to do a celebrity fashion face-off. Especially if it's a couple of cuties like Jessica Simpson and Hayden Panettiere donning the stuff. But who will prevail?

The Heroes actress hit the streets of Manhattan in her "What Comes Around Goes Around minidress back in September, while the "singer" dazzled in a very similar sequined minidress at a Clothes Off Our Backs event in L.A. Peep it:

Celebrating Simpsons

Who wore it better, Hayden or Jessica? You tell us!

If you ask The Hollywood Gossip, we'd have to take Hayden Panettiere. We like our celebrity fashion goddesses young, and compared to the Heroes star, Jessica is downright menopausal. Sorry, Jessica, you're sooooooo 2001.
Plus, Hayden has an I.Q. over 75 and doesn't get fingered by Cheri Oteri.

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by Mischalova at

Hey, remember when Jennifer Lopez was as prominent a name in the world of celebrity gossip as Britney Spears, Heidi Montag and Vanessa Hudgens are now? No?

We don't blame you. It's been an awfully long time.

Jennifer Lopez on Idol Stage

Marc Anthony's wife has seen movies bomb, album sales tank and pregnancy rumors become the only topic ever associated with her. Now, looking for any kind of commercial success, J. Lo is about to come out with another fragrance line.

This one is called "Deseo" and Lopez doesn't sound at all phony when discussing her reasons for creating it:

"I have a lot of synergy happening in my life right now that is taking me back to my roots and to everything that I'm about and how I was raised. This is what I really find my heart is into. It's the first time I have decided to use a Spanish word for one of our fragrances.

We really look at where I am at in my life and what is important to me at that time. But the one thing that we have always concentrated on from the beginning is to be as truthful as we can."

Doesn't Jennifer Lopez claim to be street tough? You know, from the Block and all? Not a lot of people from the block have their own scent... unless she's referring to cigarettes and malt liquor.

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by Mischalova at

Two great shows, two beautiful women.

Indeed, when it comes to Pushing Daisies and Lost, ABC has more than a pair of hit programs on its hands. It's got a pair of talented, gorgeous actresses.

Anna Friel Picture

Check out the comparison between Anna Friel and Evangeline Lilly below. It's hard to tell them apart, isn't it?

Yes, Anna Friel nude is attractive. But can we focus on her similarities to another famous actress for now please?

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by Mischalova at

Tara Conner may be through with girl-on-girl action.

But it looks like comedian Cheri Oteri is just getting started... much to the dismay of Jessica Simpson.

Kind of Rough

We have no idea what's actually going on in the photo below, but the singer doesn't look to be a fan of the two-fingered taco tango. At least now when John Mayer isn't the one leading the dance.

You're feeling up the wrong female celebrity, Cheri. Let us go find the phone number of Tila Tequila...

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by Free Britney at

If it weren't for Dina Lohan, she'd have the title wrapped up easily. But Lynne Spears is still one of the frontrunners for that (dis)honor.

The mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears will have no shortage of material as she pens her personal tell-all of trying to whore out raise famous daughters.

Lynne and Britney had a falling out in June, when Britney delivered an upsetting letter to her mother following months of erratic behavior and a brief stay in rehab - which Britney blames Lynne Spears for.

Having only recently reconciled with the troubled "singer," the divorced Lynne has inked a lucrative book deal with the publisher Thomas Nelson, according to People.

Publishers Marketplace describes the new book as "Lynne Spears' personal story of trying to exploit and make tons of money off raising high-profile children while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community."

Thomas Nelson also publishes Bibles, as well as inspirational (Christian) books and some celebrities' work including Bill Cosby, according to Gawker.com.

The book is set to be published in spring 2008, right around the time we expect Britney Spears to land back in rehab after overdosing on meth.

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