No program or mindset has ever been installed in Britney Spears that makes her just want to stay home, clean the house, make a PBJ sandwich and watch The Hills sometimes.
This would also mean, you know, spending time with her sons.
Britney's hard partying ways and relentless self-destructive path, Fox News notes in a recent editorial, leaves her prospects for regaining custody in doubt.
"She will always be a visitor now," sneered a source close to the case.
According to sources, Kevin Federline's camp filed motions last Friday to take the kids away from Britney Spears. Among other things, they claimed she hadn't made arrangements for mandatory counseling and drug testing.
Cited in the papers was the declaration of Britney's former bodyguard, Tony Barretto, who claimed he witnessed Spears parading around nude in front of her kids, doing drugs at a restaurant and having done crystal meth in a hotel.
Despite the fact that last week Britney Spears was described by the judge as a habitual drug user, the singer simply decided to ignore his opinion.
Instead of keeping her kids at home, quiet, warm and safe, she took them to a Malibu diner where celebrity news photographers hounded them. So great is Britney's need for public approbation that she pimped out the kids.
What made it worse was news that she was driving without a valid driver's license. Of course, a prior late night drinking champagne didn't help.
The big question is why? Why is she doing all this? And who is advising her? The answer? No one. She has no manager or publicist. She doesn't speak to her own mother, Lynne Spears, upon whom she served legal papers months ago.
That leaves her "cousin" Alli Sims â€" and that's another story.
Sources say that Alli Sims, who is not a close cousin of Britney, has set out to remake her own personal version of "All About Eve" or "Gaslight."
"She wants her own career as a singer," a source says. "She's ambitious and going after it. They recently played her demos up at the label and everyone loved them."
All this talk about Alli and her possible motives to see Britney fail makes us wonder who the pop star's actual friends - if there are any - might be.
And who in God's name is advising Spears to get drunk and drive around without a valid license, while using her kids as passengers no less?
This whole episode is eerily reminiscent of Anna Nicole Smith.
All the plot points in Smith's bizarre last year of life: the pregnancy, the death of her son, the scheming of her lawyer and companion, the rise of her personal shrink as her doctor, Anna's own death â€" look like a blueprint for Britney.
Someone should sober Britney Spears up quickly and make her read some of these stories, unless she wants to wind up a corpse.