The Hills Recap: Spencer Broke Up With Me!

"This is like... I feel like we're back in high school with this! How long have I been friends with you.... What a bitch!" - Brody Jenner

Ah yes, the sage wisdom of the great Brody Jenner. Try as he did to talk sense into childhood friend Spencer Pratt, he couldn't it get it through the oily one's head to cool it in regards to Brody's rekindled friendship with Lauren Conrad.

As a result, as Brody himself said, "Spencer broke up with me!"

That was the focal point of last night's new episode of The Hills, in which Lauren Conrad helped her ex-boyfriend (and possible friend with benefits) realize that life can actually be (gasp) a lot more fun without Spencer Pratt.

A stunning revelation, we know.

At the episode's onset, however, the focus was on Audrina Patridge and former flame Justin-Bobby (real name Justin Brescia) who had drifted apart in the last episode, only to get back together again in a true reality TV stunner.

Justin-Bobby tells Audrina that he's "hesitant to put labels on things" and wants them to become "best friends" before lovers, then accuses Audrina of being too sensitive.

Riiiight. Lauren Conrad's take? "[Audrina] wasn't being over-sensitive. He was being over-a$$hole!" Said as only Lauren can. You tell her, girl!

Shortly thereafter, at work (yes, she has a job) Heidi Montag learns that Brody and Lauren have been hanging out again from her boss, club promoter Brent Bolthouse... at a staff meeting. Yeah, MTV doesn't stage this show at all.

Heidi was taken aback, and in typical fashion, Spencer reacted to the news with a sneer. Betrayal. It hurts. Almost as much as having to stare at Spencer Pratt's scraggly-ass blonde beard for much of the show. Take a shave, bro.

Meanwhile, at Les Deux, Brody and Lauren party - with her girl Lo and his boy Frankie Delgado. LC then invites herself over for an "after-party" at his condo. Both deny hooking up the next day, calling it just a "friendly sleepover."

Regardless, they're on good terms, and that's plenty enough for Spencer to shun his childhood pal. When Brody dials Spencer up to shoot the $h!t, Pratt rips him a new one for fraternizing with the enemy - and says that makes him the enemy.

Brody tries to explain, and calm him down, but it's a moot point. As we all know, there's no rationalizing with this conniving, insecure, acne-riddled Devil.