Terrorists Hope to Kill Britney Spears, Madonna

Please, no one tell Chris Crocker the following.

We fear for what that insane YouTube poster and Britney Spears fan would do if he discovered that terrorists were out to murder his beloved train wreck. And this was before they saw her MTV Video Music Awards performance!

According to Aaron Klein's new book, "Schmoozing with Terrorists," our nation's enemies love celebrity gossip as much as we do.

In an interview with hater Muhammad Abdel-Al, the bad guy referred to Britney and Madonna as "prostitutes" and said: "If these two... keep doing what they will do, we of course will punish them... We can stone them and even we can kill them."

It's true. Check out the book's table of contents for yourself:

 

Of course, there are some celebrities the terrorists love, such as Richard Gere, Jane Fonda and Sean Penn. We're also guessing they won't do harm to Miss Iran, Sepideh Haftgoli... although she is dating an American in Andy Baldwin. So it's hard to say.

Naturally, the book also claims Jihadists love Mel Gibson.

Which is ironic. Because they hate freeeedooooom!