Despite scenes of the couple registering for silverware on Monday night's episode of The Hills, the great Spencer Pratt says that a wedding gift registry currently bearing his name on the Internet is, sadly, not his.

"While a couple can never have enough cheese serving sets, sadly, that's not our registry," the pimply one told Us Weekly.

Yes, apparently some prankster is registering for $425 Tiffany & Co. silver salt and pepper shakers, among other lame things, in the names of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Not surprisingly, though, guests don't seem to be in a giving mood, as none of the items on the list have been purchased.

Maybe at some point, Spencer Pratt will actually tell his parents that he's going to get married to Heidi Montag. That is, if this is not all a huge sham.

If they do post their real registry online, maybe Spencer can try to get family and friends to help defray the cost of Heidi's plastic surgery, or help him buy a ring that's not a knockoff. Or help him by some anti-acne cream. We could go on.