The Hollywood Gossip staff is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world you probably never considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

The Hills' Spencer Pratt, who's taking political science classes at USC, says: "I'm gonna run for governor. If Arnold Schwarzenegger can be governor of California, then Spencer Pratt can be the governor of California. [Heidi Montag] would be a great first lady!"

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