It's been a long year, but Jayden James Federline has defied critics and unlikely odds in surviving a full calendar year and turning one today, September 12!
Let's take a look back at Jayden James Federline's first year:
September 12, 2006: Born at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. at 2 a.m., weighing 6 lbs., 11 oz. Cloaked in mystery (and blankets) immediately.
September 20, 2006: Goes home from the hospital and into Britney's Malibu house of horrors. We were thinking his name was Sutton Pierce Federline.
October 24, 2006: We learn Sutton Pierce is really Jayden James. Yeah, we will never live that down. Unless we stop bringing it up.
February 2007: Grainy pics of Jayden James start to emerge here and there, while the tyke visits mom in rehab a couple of times.
March-May 2007: Agencies take many more celebrity photos purportedly of Jayden James, but no confirmed sightings occur.
June 6, 2007: Played in the pool with Brit's quote-unquote cousin, Alli Sims. In other news, Sean Preston had an epic wedgie.
July 9, 2007: Swam naked with Daimon Shippen.
July 21, 2007: The first real, clear photos of Jayden James Federline are released. At 10 months, kid already has more hair than Britney's vagina.
August 1, 2007: Jayden James and Sean Preston appear on their first big magazine cover: Us Weekly! Begging for help, and to be set free!
August 14, 2007: Accompanies mom to dinner, where he has an accident and gets changed as celebrity gossip photographers watch and take pics.
September 4, 2007: Recoils in horror from the back seat of the car as his increasingly insane mom kisses his Spider-man doll.
September 9, 2007: While his crazy mama imploded on stage at the MTV VMAs, then partied in no pants, JJ and his big bro Sean P. celebrated his birthday with a pool party at the home of his relatively sane parent.
Aww. Look at Jayden James. Happy birthday, l'il fella. We're pulling for you.