Dina Lohan Sucks, Says Lindsay is Staying in Rehab

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You've missed celebrity gossip updates about Lindsay Lohan, haven't you?

Go on, admit that you can't stand this booze hound of a skank... yet also can't wait to see what she'll do next.

According to her evil mother, Dina Lohan, here's the answer: nothing. Contrary to reports stating otherwise, the Firecrotch Queen will not be leaving the Cirque Lodge rehab program in Utah this weekend.

People magazine reports that Dina emailed Access Hollywood this week with the breaking news that her daughter is "staying in Utah."

For those that think Kiefer Suhterland is the first star to drive drunk, don't forget: Lindsay's treatment at the facility began last month, following her early morning July 24 arrest in Santa Monica on suspicion of DUI after a brief car chase.

From there, a small amount of cocaine was found on the ex-sexual partner of (deep breath now...) Calum Best, Harry Morton, Jude Law, Criss Angel, AJ Lamas, James Blunt and many others.

Immediately after she was booked, her attorney blabbered on about how Lohan had "relapsed" and was receiving "medical care."

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It must be really tough to put your daughter in rehab...way to be tough Dina! Watch Living Lohan..its actually pretty funny!

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Lindsay Lohan nude video: http://celebrities-gallery.com...

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good, keep her there...less std's to worry about.

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan