Henry Hager and Jenna Bush: Engaged!

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If Jenna Bush's engagement is anything like her father's war, we can't imagine a wedding date being set any time soon.

But we'd still like to congratulate the First Daughter on her engagement to Henry Hager.

He's a Richmond native whose father, John Hager, was Virginia's first director of homeland security and a former lieutenant governor.

Sort of moves the fiance bar up pretty high for Francois-Henri Pinault and others, huh?

"President and Mrs. George W. Bush are happy to announce the engagement of their daughter, Jenna Bush, to Mr. Henry Hager, son of the Honorable and Mrs. John H. Hager of Richmond, Virginia," the White House said in a statement. "Miss Bush and Mr. Hager became engaged Wednesday, August 15, 2007."

And there you have it. They join other recently betrothed couples, such as Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller.

Now, the wedding/war jokes may begin. We'll get you started:

  • Instead of being divided into bride and groom, sides of the chapel will splinter off into warring factions.
  • There will be a Mission Accomplished banner at the reception.
  • The president's speech? "Marriage is tough... but you're doing a great job, Hager-y..."

Please send in your own.

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TWO JUNKIES.