It's been months since we saw Cisco Adler naked, but those giant testicles are seared into our mind even more so than the last Britney Spears crotch shot.
It's sad, really.
Perhaps a People magazine interview with the ex-boyfriend of Mischa Barton can distract us from those disgusting thoughts. First, though, someone get this man a drink...
Have you had dinner here yet?
No, you know I had a huge lunch so I couldn't eat any dinner. I'm having tequila for dinner.
Was it shocking when you found out Nicole Richie was pregnant or did you personally hear about?
It was surprising but congratulations to them. They're good people.
Do you believe she'll be a good mom?
Oh yeah, [Nicole Richie] be a good mom.
How do you think her boyfriend, Joel Madden, will be about it?
Joel's a great guy. I think he loves her. I don't know, though, I don't know their relationship that well.
You're friends with Paris Hilton. After her whole jail experience have you talked to her since then? Is she really that changed person that she claims to be?
Yeah, she said it was a ridiculous life changing experience. That's all I know. â€¦ I've been to jail for three days so I can imagine 21 is even crazier.
* The Hollywood Gossip note: Almost as crazy as Rumer Willis in a dunce cap!
Was it life changing for you as well?
Uh, I knew I was getting out at some point. It was just that county jails are so over packed, it took me three days to get into the system.
So what else have you been up to these days?
Well we're on tour with ZZ Top, The Pretenders and The Stray Cats right now.
How is that?
Ridiculous. Arenas and amphitheaters. We just did a show with 10,000 [people]. Forget a club, put me in a goddamn arena.
Was there anything that didn't go right in the new show or something that you were upset about?
No. We made a decision early on to let go. Easy going. Doors are open and f--- everyone.
What's the best thing about being in this business? What keeps you going â€" what's your drive?
The next song I write. I wake up every day and write all day long. It's hopefully a tool so people finally listen to my music and shut up about my personal life.
* Note to all celebrity gossip blogs: Keep talking about Cisco Adler's personal life. Anything that will lead to more insightful interviews such as this.Â