The Lindsay Lohan Arrest: Drunk Driving, Ridiculous Excuses and More Emerge

by at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan is a careless, reckless, spoiled, drug-addicted princess with mediocre singing and acting talent.

Instead of reciting the obvious, however, we'll reveal the details our staff has pieced together regarding this trash bag's most recent arrest. Combing through various celebrity gossip sources has helped us discover the following:

Lindsay Lohan Mug Shot
  • At around 2:15 this morning, Lohan was was arrested in Santa Monica for possession of cocaine, driving under the influence, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license. Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13.
  • She was placed behind bars, like Jason Wahler, and freed later on $25,000 bail.
  • While in jail, a law enforcement official told TMZ that Lohan "did just about everything we asked." However, a different official said Lindsay was "a real bitch in the field" and was "uncooperative and showed obvious signs of intoxication."
  • According to police, Lohan's assistant quit just hours before Lohan was arrested; and when the assistant's mother came to pick her up, the red-headed moron gave chase. The assistant's mother called the police, warning them that Lindsay was hot on their tail, and that she was headed for the nearest police station.
  • Somewhere, Harry Morton thanked the heavens he has gotten away from this mess in time.
  • The actress is now back in an undisclosed treatment facility.

Of course, her lawyer wants us to believe that addiction has something to do with getting behind the wheel drunk and stoned. The following statement by Blair Berk makes it seem like we should feel sorry for Lohan:

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies.

Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

She ought to be receiving judicial care as quickly as possible. Let's lock her up with Mindy McCready and throw away the key.

Tags:
Avatar

I like big cocks in my mouth,
hi amanda

Avatar

me too :)

Avatar

am i on the internet now? =)

Avatar

does lindsey even read these messages?

Avatar

its ok lindsey, your just havin fun

Avatar

Haha, Perez Hilton's got your number! Lindsey is such a sad case. I hope she snaps out of it before it's too late.

Avatar

Its nice to see that you wait edabout 12 hours after a story comes out, and than copy it for your website. What a joke!!!

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
x Close Ad