Is Britney Spears already off the wagon?
Is the Pope Catholic? Is Lindsay Lohan a waifish harlot? Does George W. Bush have trouble using complete sentences?
Do bears $h!t in the woods? Are Family Guy quotes funny? Shall we continue making our point?
It seems obvious to us that Brit is hitting the bottle again. But MSN reports that the "rehabbed" star is indeed having trouble steering clear of alcohol, and that's not her only problem.
Britney Spears is "drinking heavily again, binge shopping and eating like there's no tomorrow," according to Star.
What's more, the singer is jeopardizing her cherished relationship with kid sister Jamie Lynn Spears thanks to her ongoing feud with their mother, Lynne Spears.
"On several occasions, I have seen her pouring alcohol into energy drink cans," a source told the tabloid, suggesting there's little chance we'll see Brit sober up anytime soon.
Says another insider: "Britney Spears requests that alcohol be served in carafes rather than in bottles. Once, a waitress made the mistake of bringing her a bottle. Britney grabbed her arm and told her angrily that she couldn't be seen with it."
Spears caused a scene at the L.A. club Joseph's June 25, stripping down to a purple bra and "dancing and singing her own music, which she brought in," an observer told Star.
She allegedly was also "brazenly flirting" with DJ Eric Cubiche, even though his fiancÃ©e, actress Jaime Pressly, was nearby. The seething star of My Name Is Earl, who gave birth to Cubiche's son in May, is reported to have "played it cool."
Britney Spears is also said to have been on a "major spending spree" and is eating so much that her washboard abs are just a memory.
Then there's the strife with her family. Says a friend:
"[Jamie Lynn Spears] and Britney have always been close, but Jamie Lynn thinks Britney is cruel, especially after all that their mom did for her. Jamie Lynn wants it to stop."
Poor Britney. What a train wreck. Well, at least she has Damon.