Paris Hilton Upset She's in Jail

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We make a lot of jokes about Paris Hilton's pussy.

But it never occurred to us just how much Paris Hilton is a pussy.

Law enforcement source connected with the Lynwood Jail tell TMZ, "To describe Paris as emotionally upset would be an understatement."

So, wait, Paris is upset that she's in jail? That's astounding. Might Britney Spears' crotch also be cold from being exposed?

TMZ has confirmed that Hilton is in the medical wing at the jail and is being "evaluated." Reportedly, sheriff's officials believed she was stable enough to be transferred back to his facility, but sources say Paris "will not be able to handle" confinement.

Perhaps she should have thought of that before she broke the law. It's not like Paris minded being confined to the bed of Stavros Niarchos and many other men over the years.

The root of Hilton's problem? Severe panic attacks. Like Katie Price when she wears clothing, apparently Paris freaks out a lot behind bars.

The Hollywood Gossip staff, though, is sick of these stories. It's prison. You're supposed to be upset and scared when there. The spoiled brat should at least be thankful she doesn't have to hang out with Brandon Davis for a few weeks.

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Exactly!!!!! GROW UP!!!!!!!