Paris Hilton says she's turning her life around. We'll believe this when we don't see her having sex with Stavros Niarchos and thumbing her nose at everyday people on The Simple Life.
But celebrity gossip source TMZ is taking the jailbird so seriously that it's compiled a list of those the heiress should bid farewell to. Here are some recommendations:
Brandon Davis: Step one, decrease the Grease(y Bear). As amusing as he is, Brandon's seven-day-a-week hard-partying, late night schedule might not help Paris to become more too much of a goody goody.
Britney Spears: Lose the flooze. The crotch-flashing and nipple-slipping is getting old - and while Britney continues to fall apart, Paris won't be able to stay together around her.
Lindsay Lohan: Are these two even friends this week? Who knows. But stay away from Firecrotch unless you wish to get burned, Paris.
Nicole Richie: A simpler life wouldn't include this wrong-way co-star and her skeletal frame. It's possible Nicole could end up behind bars, too.
Kim Kardashian: We aren't aware of their status this week, either, but Paris might wanna leave Ray J's ex alone. Unless these two plans a new sex tape together with some serious girl-on-girl action, what's even the point of such a friendship?