Paris Hilton Pussy to Be Used as Jail Prop; Nicky Hilton Says Punishment is Absurd

Paris Hilton's pussy must be looking forward to the day his owner goes into the slammer. Freedom shall finally be his.

Reportedly, however, this won't take place until the poor kitten is used as a prop to garner sympathy for his law-breaking owner.

Evidently, Paris Hilton has ordered stylists to show up at her Hollywood Hills home at 9:00 AM the day of her imprisonment. The plan is to pull a Naomi Campbell and show up to jail as photo-ready as possible. The inmate should love that.

Moreover, while Paris serving time, a source says that she'll be penning a diary, which "will make a more dramatic read than Martha Stewart's."

But will it sell for more than the Hilton sex tape did?

Finally, as for the big arrival, an "insider" says Hilton may use her new kitten as a prop, handing it over to Nicky Hilton, tears streaming (violins playing, flashes popping, etc.), for maximum effect. Seriously. This is actually the plan.

Speaking of Hilton's sister, she thinks the entire ordeal is just crazy.

"I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd," Hilton said.

But it's in this spoiled skank's nature to remain positive, a friend says. Maybe that's what Stavros Niarchos keeps seeing in her.

"She's the eternal optimist," the pal reported. "She's been through so much, but that's always her disposition."

It's true. Paris has been through so, so much. There was Stavros, Josh Henderson, James Blunt, Matt Leinart...