It's the best news since we heard that a nude Amanda Beard would be posing in Playboy:
Paris Hilton is going back to jail.
Judge Michael Sauer made a perfectly logical point, saying "I don't know why the defendant couldn't be treated at Lynwood, because they have a great medical facility."
And with that, he sentenced the illegal driver to return to prison in order to serve out the remainder of her time there. Looks like Nicole Richie can go back to being scared again now. She may be next!
TMZ states that Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom."
Moreover, one witness described the scene as Paris being "physically escorted" out of the courtroom by a female deputy. And it's safe to assume this isn't the sort of physical escorting that Hilton is used to, courtesy of Stavros Niarchos and many, many others.
Hilton's awful mother was later seen pacing the hallways, telling reporters, "I'm paralyzed right now." We're sure she can grab a drink with Dina Lohan at the World's Worst Parenting bar and feel better, though.