You may not know who Coley Laffoon is, but surely the latter half of this headline doesn't come as a huge shock to you.
Laffoon, Anne Heche's absurdly-named, soon-to-be-ex-hubby, claims that he's worried that the actress isn't psychologically capable of caring for their son... and says she refuses to see a shrink!
In court papers filed this month in L.A. County Superior Court, Coley Laffoon asks a judge for joint custody of the couple's 5-year-old son, Homer, and claims that Heche may be unfit for parenthood.
Specifically, he says that the "bizarre, delusional behavior" and "poor parenting skills" of Heche, who once dated Ellen DeGeneres, could be a problem.
In the papers, Laffoon claims that Anne eschews car seats like Britney Spears, and that she often cusses in front of the child, as well as routinely packing school lunches that Homer "did not like."
Laffoon believes that his prior experience as a nanny and a summer camp counselor justify giving him joint custody. It may also justify him as a Grade A tool.
Laffoon is also asking for $33,000 a month in spousal support, even though he claims he only made $6,000 a year as a videographer before the two were married.
Anne Heche makes $81,000 an episode for her role in "Men In Trees."
Laffoon filed for divorce February 2, 2007. Right around that time, his formerly lesbian wife took up with her co-star, James Tupper. Rumors that Heche and Tupper were more than co-stars surfaced even before the divorce filing.
A spokesperson for Anne Heche released the following statement:
It is disappointing that Coley Laffoon has resorted to filing lies with the court because Anne Heche would not cave in to his astronomical monetary demands, including his demand for $45,000 a month in support. For the past several years, the child's father has refused to get a job in order to contribute financially to the child's care.
Wow. These two loons might not be entering Bobby Brown / Whitney Houston territory, but let's just say our staff feels sorry for poor little Homer.
And not just because his name is Homer. His parents are nuts.
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5 Comments
August 27th, 2009 12:45 PM
2 screwed up people that seem to deserve each other. Sorry for the child. Hey Anne. have u figured out which sex floats your boat yet? and Coley, get a job you lazy gigalo.
August 27th, 2009 3:12 PM
I always thought Anne Heche was a but crazy, but after her appearance on David Letterman I also think she's a twit! As to the spokesperson who released the comment about spousal support, I'm sure they would be signing a different tune if it were a woman asking for support from her husband. Anne admitted herself she married him to have a baby. You play, you pay! Women wanted equality, well here it is! Pay up!
August 27th, 2009 5:57 PM
I agree Lolly...Anne has always been a bit of a twit and has repeatedly screwed up every relationship she's been in. Good for Ellen that she left this weirdo for beautiful Portia. You wanted a husband to have a baby, now pay the spousal support. Duh! Idiot.
August 27th, 2009 6:36 PM
Good for you Lolly, couldn't have said it better... equality sucks doesn't it... how many men are in jail today for failure to pay child support? multitudes!
The situation is the main reason, IMO, for the disintegration of the family unit, and subsequent disintegration of our society... it's more advantageous for a woman to have kids and divorce then remarry... who in their right mind would then adopt those children when it would mean cutting off that monthly check... who usually gets custody? no answer needed... BOO HOO for Anne Heche and all the rest of the hypocritical females now residing in the U.S.A. you wants it you gets it...
Most of friends are divorced and had no other choice other than return to their parent's homes.. couldn't afford their own home, apt., car, etc. and the astronomical child support payments when their wives had divorced them.
Most importantly, good for Coley Laffoon.. why work when he's getting 33K a month? sounds like everyone of my friend's exwives... waiting on that monthly check from the ex-husband they deserted...
August 27th, 2009 7:38 PM
Welcome to the 21st century Anne. Now I don't really know this ex-hubby of hers, but I will lose all respect for him if he doesn't promptly respond to her Dave Letterman comments by moving in a fresh looking 25-yr old hottie. The two could lay up all day together on that 33k check. Besides, his defense should be, " I'm not lazy...I have to spend that money you're making for me, now get back to work! "