The Sports Gal sure is taking her sweet ass time writing her freaking recap of The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman.
While we'd love to wait for her, as no one recaps reality TV like she can, our celebrity gossip readers demand better than her needless delays.
The Hollywood Gossip prides itself on fast, in-depth coverage, whether it's the latest celebrity arrest, dating rumors, trip by Britney Spears to Millennium Dance Studio or episode of your favorite shows.
So good riddance to Bill Simmons and very funny, very lazy wife. We've written our own damn recap. Let's get down to business.
Tessa Horst, a 26-year-old San Francisco social worker, accepted the final rose - and a marriage proposal to boot - from Andy Baldwin in last night's finale of The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman.
Andy Baldwin's proposal to Tessa and her acceptance of it marked the first time in four seasons and only the second in its last seven that The Bachelor ended with its bachelor proposing to his final female choice.
Sorry, Lorenzo Borghese.
"I've always imagined this day, and this is beyond my wildest dream... I met a woman who makes me feel so happy and so amazing," Baldwin gushed.
"I want to say to you Tessa... Will you marry me?"
Andy, a 30-year-old undersea medical officer stationed in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, asked Tessa Horst from bended knee at the conclusion of last night's special two-hour finale.
"Yes!" answered Tessa, who put her hand to her mouth and whispered, "Oh my God..." as Andy slipped a diamond ring around her finger. "This moment is perfect," she said.
In choosing Tessa, Andy dispatched of Bevin Powers, a 28-year-old Palo Alto, Calif., native who became the 24th and final bachelorette to be eliminated from Officer and a Gentleman's pool of 25 wives-to-be.
Follow our link to continue reading this comprehensive guide to last night's gripping conclusion of the 10th season of The Bachelor ...