Look, some Miss America winners can only find comfort in the bottom of a bottle. But that's nothing to be ashamed of, Tara Conner.
Still others that represent our nation take to the streets and help to arrest online pedophiles Way to go, Lauren Nelson.
The most recent winner of the Miss America crown helped the FBI nab such sickos by posing as a 14-year-old on the Net, chatting online with men and then actually meeting them at a house in Long Island, whereupon they were arrested on camera for America's Most Wanted.
"I got to chat online with the predators and made phone calls, too," Nelson said by phone from Atlantic City, N.J. "The Suffolk County Police Department was there the whole time."
No matter Stephen Colbert salutes this beauty.
In other beauty pageant nude, a nude Katie Rees is probably kissing some girls in Las Vegas right about now.