Is "Hollywood Car Wash" - a new novel about a young, innocent actress from the Midwest who enters into a "contracted relationship" with a huge Hollywood star - inspired by the lovely, brainwashed and imprisoned Katie Holmes?
Various celebrity gossip blogs have reported that the BFF of Victoria Beckham got a copy of the book from a friend and is "furious" over it. It gets worse than that, too.
When asked if Katie Holmes received the book, author Lori Culwell played it close to the vest: "I do know someone who knows her right now and might have given her the book," Culwell told TMZ.
"I can't discuss any relationship with Katie Holmes," she continued. "But I am sorry that she's upset about the book."
How coy. On her lawyer's advice, Culwell wouldn't saywhether or not she knows the mute, submissive mother of Suri Cruise, but maintains the book is "based on real stories," and "the main character is based on a person that is never, ever going to talk to me again."
So basically, it's as if she wrote a book that's not about Britney Spears, but rather a young Southern girl who achieves superstardom before marrying twice, cranking out two kids and spiraling into a period of drugs, booze, depression and possible insanity. And Red Bull. Lots and lots of Red Bull.
In any case, "Hollywood Car Wash" is Culwell's debut novel, about a girl who lands a TV pilot and is forced to lose weight and completely change her appearance to be more marketable. She's kept on a tight leash and gets "new teeth, blonder hair, and a huge Hollywood star boyfriend with a big secret."
Just kidding. Not really. Anyway, the submissive mute's rep, Ina Treciokas, flatly denies the rumors, saying Katie has "never heard it, never read it and doesn't know the author."
Just the same, the book has already drawn attention from a few film studios.
"Three production companies are reading it for adaptation now," Culwell said, before slyly adding, "Maybe Katie Holmes would like to play the main character."
That would be a great example of art imitating lifeâ€¦ almost as much as Tara Conner starring in a movie about a young beauty queen who lets her cravings for drinking, cocaine and men (and fellow beauty queens!) get in the way of her responsibilities.