Kate Moss is a Train Wreck

Kate Moss has been labelled a "train wreck" by New York magazine.

The influential publication described the British model as "annoyingly fatuous," before slamming her "substance-bloated boyfriend" Pete Doherty and urging her to "grow up."

In other words: this is our new favorite publication.

Referring to Moss' much documented cocaine scandal, the magazine railed against her more than Katie Price tearing down Victoria Beckham: "We've grown impatient with the lack of remorse on Moss' part, as well as her insistence on continuing to rub shoulders with her greasy, pasty, substance-bloated musician boyfriend Pete Doherty.

"For God's sake, Kate, you're a mother. Grow up, preferably before your daughter."

Hear that, Dina Lohan?

The model is soon to launch her own clothing range for high street chain Topshop, but the magazine was left distinctly unimpressed by a sneak preview.

It fumed: "We don't think her fashion matches the need of the people who actually shop at Topshop. They want high fashion for the people, not just stuff for size-0 carb-deprived specimens."

It's true, Kate. Not even Nicole Richie falls into that category anymore.