Battle of the Busts: Paris Hilton vs. Tara Reid

You know you've made it in Hollywood when your giant boobs are analyzed and drooled over.

When it comes to Tara Reid, however, the truth is that her phony cleavage is more closely laughed at and disgusted over. Seen here, it's falling out of the actress' bikini. Yikes. 

While we're breast-fallen over Reid's waste of two perfectly good boobs, we're amazed at the progress made by those of Paris Hilton. Didn't they used to be a lot smaller? Rewind that Hilton sex tape and take a close look to see if you agree that Paris may also have had some work done.

Or, you could just ask Randy Spelling. This son of Hollywood claims he was one of the first to ever cop a feel of Paris. Suffice it to say, he wasn't the last.

As readers of The Hollywood Gossip ponder which awful person actress has the more inflated cleavage, the staff will try to get in touch with Joe Francis. That dude has experienced both Reid's and Hilton's first hand.

Pity him.