The Hills Recap: Slimy Spencer & New Year's Insanity

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Note to Spencer Pratt: If we ever see you at Hyde, we might just have to beat the living crap out of you. Which shouldn't be that hard. So consider yourself warned.

This is not because The Hollywood Gossip is out to get people or enjoys violent conflict. It's simply because Spencer Pratt fills us with blinding, unrelenting rage. Basically, watching him on The Hills makes us want to channel our inner Jason Wahler and go postal.

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It was probably during last night's clothing-store scene â€" when Spencer was asking Heidi Montag to move in with him while constantly pawing at her â€" that we realized how bad this guy needs a boot to the f*%king skull.

Of course, as Entertainment Weekly wryly notes, the way he so selflessly dedicates himself to being creepily manipulative for our viewing pleasure is nothing short of miraculous.

Taking a break from Spencer for a second, the gang starts off the episode gearing up for the best New Year's Eve ever. We're also informed that the lovely Whitney Port, LC's fellow intern, is also a decent softball player.

Seriously, she can really drive the ball!

In addition to planning a hot NYE at the nightclub Area, everyone was also acting determined to make amends after the great Heidi-Lauren rift.

"I feel like, 2006 was a hard year on our friendship, and I want to spend New Year's with her," Heidi tells Spencer.

On the big night, he kept repeating how much he despised her friends and the fact that she "chooses them" over him. As if a girl can't have both a boyfriend as well as female friends. That'd just be too f*%ked up.

So it goes in the mind of Spencer Pratt, however. Why is Brody Jenner even friends with this tool again? At dinner, before they met up with the group at Area, Spencer told Heidi:

"I don't even want to go to the club. I just want to take you home right now. But you have another boyfriend named Lauren Conrad."

Blinding, unfocused and unrelenting rage
.

Things were much cheerier on Lauren's side, thankfully, where her big plan for self-improvement in 2007 was to take kickboxing with Audrina Patridge.

Hey, every girl's gotta have a New Year's resolution. Lauren's pal from Laguna Beach, Lo, also paid a nice visit. Moreover, Lauren met a pal of a pal of Audrina's (vacationing from Colorado) who she could smooch on New Year's, too!

We've loving Lauren's newfound interest in regular guys, by the way. Maybe it's just that Heidi dates Spencer. But it shows LC's not as superficial as may of her peers.

Heidi, meanwhile, seemed intent on her underlying goal to destroy her friendship with Lauren (or what's left of it) by blabbing to Lo about Spencer suggesting they move in together - without mentioning it to her roomie. WTF!

Then, taking a page str8 outta Spencer's playbook, she got all pensive and pouty at midnight when no one, like, was paying attention to her. Absolutely classic Heidi.

Days later, Spencer was still at it.

"I've been thinking a lot," he told Heidi. "I think it's really rude that you've chosen Lauren over me."

And our blood pressure keeps on rising.

NEXT WEEK: The return of Brody Jenner (amazing how he keeps turning up) as well as that girl Jen. Plus, Lauren Conrad's big 21st birthday!

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i never seen that eposide but i know whats going on it's not ture and it was not heidi flet is was preze hilton

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Looks to me like Heidi only invited Lauren to Santa Barbara because she knew she wouldn't want to go! Can you imagine what Spencer would have said if Lauren said, "Sure, I'll go!" There's no way he would have let Lauren come with him and Heidi to Santa Barbara! This invite was only to score some kind of mental brownie points with Lauren and probably the viewers too. Case in point - Heidi can say, "Well I invited you to Santa Barbara with us and you said no!" But Heidi knew her precious little trip with controling Spencer was safe...she knew Lauren would say no before she ever asked the question. So forgive me if I don't think Heidi is so much at fault.

Lauren Conrad Biography

Lauren Conrad and New Boyfriend? A Laguna Beach alumna, the gorgeous Lauren Conrad has gone on to be the star of its spin-off series, The Hills. Back in her high school... More »
Born
Birthplace
Laguna Beach, California
Full Name
Lauren Katherine Conrad

Lauren Conrad Quotes

Someone with a great sense of humor is the most important thing, and someone who really supports me in everything I do... I don’t ever want to make an excuse for trying to work hard and having my own life. I love a guy that supports that and loves that.

Lauren Conrad [on men]

I don’t feel girly without long hair! There is something so sexy about having long blonde hair. It’s so feminine.

Lauren Conrad
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