Brandon Davis: Moronic, Hypocritical Greasy Bear

What it looks like here is a textbook case of the Greasy pot calling the bumbling, drunk kettle Middle Eastern.

What we're talking about actually went down at Paris Hilton's hot birthday party, in which her BFF (or at least then-BFF) Brandon Davis made an ass out of himself. Standard.

Only this time, when he mocked American Idol judge Paula Abdul because of her Middle Eastern ancestry, causing her to leave early, he forgot a key fact.

He's also Middle Eastern.

A witness at the party told the New York Daily News at the time:

"[Davis] kept on saying her last name over and over again, and then would insert his made-up version of an Arabic language."

Classy. Well, it turns out that Brandon Davis' real name isn't actually Brandon Davis.

Nor is it Greasy Bear. That's just a nickname.

It's Brandon Zarif.

"His father is Nebil Zarif, known as 'Bilo,'" a source tells the Daily News. "He's a Turkish-American wine importer."

Davis, who more closely resembles a roasting pig than a bear of grease, uses his mother Nancy's maiden name, also that of his late grandfather, oil tycoon Marvin Davis. But Marvin never approved of Brandon's parents' marriage.

"He basically gave Bilo money to go away," according to the friend.

This isn't the first time the hard-partying slime ball has ended up with egg (very greasy egg) on his face. Last year, he ripped Lindsay Lohan, a.k.a. Firecrotch, specifically her financial assets, saying:

"She's worth about $7 million, which means she's really poor."

It was then revealed that Davis bounced a $10,000 check to Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, which was refused for "insufficient funds."

What a dumbass. Someone's gotta get this guy and Jason Wahler together.