The Hills Recap: Lauren & Heidi Fight, Spencer Sucks

We're like, totally over Spencer.

So is Lauren Conrad, whether or not he bought her a dozen roses.

Speaking of those flowers, whose intended recipient was in such question, which is sketchier: that Spencer would randomly bring them for Heidi on a lunch date, or that he would bring them for her to give to Lauren to make peace? Entertainment Weekly poses this very valid question.

So while the rift between Lauren and Heidi widened on last night's all-new episode of The Hills, Lauren was hanging with recent Heidi nemesis Audrina Patridge, dissecting the Spencer sitch and eating leftovers.

"Are we eating at the table?" Lauren mused. "Look at us adults."

She then analyzed the relationship between Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag for the 800th time, and predicted (shockingly) that it won't end well.

"I just have the feeling that it's going to be really bad," LC said.

For our part, we seriously can't wait until we can stop talking about that jackass Spencer. Seriously. I mean, even poor, innocent Whitney Port could speak of nothing else during our obligatory Teen Vogue office scene.

The only thing worse? Actually listening to Spencer himself talk. This is a guy who we just learned concocted a scheme in which Brody Jenner would rise to fame by making Nicole Richie eat. We're serious.

Nevertheless, the cameras are fixated on Spencer as he's macking on some more girls. That is, before Lauren Conrad stepped in and had it out with him.

"Heidi gets me and she knows who I am," Spencer shot back.

Take that, LC! Who knows why Heidi comes back for more of his crap, really. But this is The Hills. And incidentally, Lauren - America's Sweetheart - really came into her own sticking up for her friend like that, even if Heidi didn't ask for any sticking up for. Or something.

We're oddly proud of Brody Jenner as well, and not just because he's made it his life's goal to date every reality show star in California. The way he was able to stop trying to get Lauren into bed long enough to defend his friend, creep though he may be, was admirable.

"Of course he was a little bit wrong" Hollywood's most eligible bachelor said of Spencer, "But maybe he feels a little threatened by you."

Then it was back to those pretty, confusion-inducing roses for a few final plot twists. To recap, Spencer shows up with the roses at lunch; then Heidi tosses them to Lauren at home and implies he'd bought them to make amends. Now Spencer blabs to Brody, "Lauren thinks I got her a dozen roses, but it's like, 'Yeah, right, I'm not spending a dollar on you.'"

Then, during the climactic blow-up between Lauren and Heidi at home, Lauren was wondering, "Why would he buy me flowers?" Heidi finally cleared it all up: "I said it like a joke." Ooooh, good one. Apparenly Lauren wasn't so amused either, as this (weirdly) seemed to be the final straw that sent her stomping into her room and slamming the door.

What's to become of the LC-Heidi rift? Is Spencer out of the picture for good? We doubt we'll be that lucky. But here's hoping. Loser.