Don't worry, Anna Nicole Smith, you're still the red menace.

But Jessica Simpson looks intent on giving you a run for your criminally crimson money.

Perhaps inspired by her and Ashlee's bright, red lipstick, Jessica has dyed her famous blonde hair a gross, dark shade. Now what excuse will she have for wondering what part of the buffalo wings come from?

We're not sure what cheesy boy toy, John Mayer, has to say about the new look - but we're guessing it's something cheesy.

Jessica's body may still be a wonderland, but her hair is closer to a blunderland now.

Bad jokes aside, there's little doubt that Vanessa Minnillo would now win any photo contest with Nick Lachey's ex.

Heck, Ron Jeremy might even have a chance.