She's not gasping in abject terror at the prospect of going from blonde bombshell to unattractive brunette... or whatever you call her new, bad haircut.
And no, she wasn't just presented with a dick in a box from a certain sexy vocalist.
She just can't believe what she watched last night. Being a one-time MTV star herself, Jessica keeps her eye on the network's new reality shows. Like the rest of us, she's in disbelief that Heidi Montag gave Spencer another chance on last night's episode of The Hills.
We can only imagine how Jessica felt during last season's finale, when LC somehow chose to spend the summer with Jason Wahler rather than take that internship in Paris.
Speaking of things that have been in Paris, wonder what Joe Francis is up to.