What was really at the heart of the short-lived relationship between Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner?
He was trying to get her to eat.
In a dialogue that is part of a profile of Jenner in the March issue of Details, Spencer Pratt - the boyfriend of Heidi Montag and self-described "manager- slash- publicist- slash- agent- slash- stylist" to Jenner - says to the hunky Prince of Malibu:
"Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh!t, bro. You'll be, like, a f*%king hero to America."
The plan, which was devised last August (just when Jenner and Richie did begin dating, briefly forming Bichie), was actually part of Jenner's scheme to ride Richie's coattails and become a more familiar name himself.
It was a drawn-out scheme which, lame and pathetic as it sounds, ultimately proved successful. Here we are talking about him, after all.
A week after Jenner and Richie broke up back in October, Brody forged an unlikely relationship with Lauren Conrad, star of The Hills. That ended quickly. Maybe. We're not sure whether they're together or not.
Brody's take on the situation:
"Basically, I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills."
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. And Brody, who used to get busy with Kristin Cavallari before any of this happened, is not about to limit his prowess to reality TV show stars.
"Let's see where Lindsay's at, get her up in here," Jenner is quoted as saying as he text-messages Lindsay Lohan, although he says the two aren't more than friends.
Even so, Lohan texted back and showed up later to meet our man BJ at Hyde.
Not that all this scheming and schmoozing doesn't leave the son of Bruce Jenner and step-brother of Kim Kardashian time to be introspective.
"This whole scene, this whole town â€" it's so fake," he said. "It's like a movie set, like my life is a movie set. These people, they all think it's real, but it's not. I wanna meet a girl who has nothing to do with L.A. A nice, normal, real girl."
Then he adds:
"Actually, you now, that's gonna be a component of our new MTV show â€" me leaving L.A. to meet a normal girl. It might be hard, though, with all the cameras."
What's this? A Brody Jenner reality show in the works? Stay tuned.