Britney Spears: Phone Sex Fiend

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Well, we can say this, folks: If Britney Spears' comeback doesn't go as planned, she's got a backup career: phone sex operator!

Get ready for this, guys. The troubled pop singer will send you, absolutely free, a sexy, pre-recorded story of your choice from her perfume's site.

Caffeine Fiend

The promotional website for her latest fragrance, Midnight Fantasy, allows visitors to send a personalized voice message from Britney Spears to a friend's phone or e-mail address.

Users can pick activities, gifts and nicknames from a list of pre-recorded words - which come together to make a fantasy. Get it? Fantasy is the name of the perfume.

For instance, you could have a breathy Britney ask you politely if you'd babysit Jayden James while she and Katie Rees hit the town for a night of tequila shots and girl on girl action.

Isaac Cohen, for his part, might have Brit suggest a kinky, all-night sex romp on a rotating bed in a suite with mirrored ceilings. Or something.

Sadly, we're guessing any requests involving Paris Hilton pussy are off-limits.

There are so many directions you could take this. But keep this in mind: with gift options such as a six-pack of beer available, it appears that even Britney's fantasies are trashy.

Just hope you don't get a call from Britney on crystal meth.

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hi how are you

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hi, baby

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Hey if Britney needs a job I can help her out! She has a great voice... I know LOTS of guys that would go nuts for that southern charm!

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I think the best fantasy would be to see Ester Goldberg perform live-- oh wait she's going to be doing a show at the Comedy Store on Sunset Blvd. tonight! I'm definitely checking that out-- no need to have Britney tell me about it!

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Britney Spears Biography

Check Please!
Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Born
Birthplace
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears