May God bless America! And Lauren Nelson!
The newly-crowned Miss America, of whom no nude pictures or tales of drunken debauchery have been posted on the Internet, has finally given the land of the free and home of the brave an upstanding beauty queen it can be proud of.
And after the events of the past few months - a period dominated by Miss USA Tara Conner (booze, cocaine, sexual indiscretions with men), Miss Teen USA Katie Blair (booze, sexual indiscretions with Conner!) and former Miss Nevada Katie Rees (you gotta check out these pics!) - that's no small feat.
No wonder, then, that comedian and patriotic social commentator Stephen Colbert is willing to stand up and give Nelson a salute. She's made us proud to be Americans once again...
... now, does anyone know where we can get more Katie Rees pictures? Just saying.