Attention, Lindsay Lohan: Seek help immediately.
We know we mock you and your firecrotch a lot, but we don't wish death on any celebrity.
After all, who would we write about then?
The Hollywood Gossip staff felt as though such an advisory was necessary after reading a recent piece in The National Enquirer.
The article said when Lohan was in the hospital to have her appendix removed, her blood work showed that Lindsay's liver enzymes were "extremely elevated."
The appendectomy was routine, but what doctors discovered in her blood work was not ... Lindsay's liver panel shows her drinking is taking a terrible toll on her health. Her liver enzymes are extremely elevated, and doctors warned her if she doesn't quit boozing she could die.
With that in mind, we hope Lindsay really is taking AA seriously. Remember, oh fiery one, you have a little sister - Ali Lohan - to look after.
You certainly can't entrust that job to your drunk of a mother, Dina.