Two more weeks. That's how much longer we have to wait until the paternity test results confirm who the daddy of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern officially is.
For those of you who have been living under a rock, or have better things to do than follow this saga (oh, how we simultaneously envy and pity you), two dudes both claim to be the father of the latest spawn of Anna Nicole Smith. Why not one but two men, both able-bodied, would sleep with this nutcase, we have no plausible explanation. But that's a question for another time... and one to which there is probably no answer.
The fact remains that celebrity photographer Larry Birkhead claims he knocked up the former Playboy bunny a year ago on New Year's Eve (apparently they only slept together once?), and is the heavy favorite to be declared the baby's daddy. But last summer, the crazy Smith eloped with Howard K. Stern, who also says he sired poor little Dannielynn.
It's a chain of events that both amuses and confuses. But you can't get it off your mind when you are unlucky enough to see Smith. Just ask this WWE legend and absolutely enormous mustachioed man, Hulk Hogan, seen below partying with Smith: