Heather Mills kicked a nosy fan in the ass with her fake leg in a recent coffee shop fight. We assume this story pretty much speaks for itself, but let's delve into the details anyway ...
Reportedly, Emma Levy had tried to snap a pic of the former Mrs. Paul McCartney with her mobile phone in a Starbucks. From there, Mills - totally out of character, of course - flipped out.
"She jumped up, grabbed me by the throat and pushed me towards the door," Levy said. "She lashed out with her left leg, kicking me in the bum. I have a big bruise."
While we aren't fans of Levy's whining and don't doubt she was being a nuisance, it's difficult to side with Mills, the former call girl who lost her leg when she was hit by a police motorcycle years ago.
It would be akin to siding with Nicole Richie in her feud with food.
Fellow Starbucks customer, Hayleigh Sands, witnessed the incident. She makes Heather sound crazier than Crazy Joe Simpson.
"Heather's face was contorted with anger. She started rifling through the woman's bag to find her mobile phone. She broke down and started crying, â€˜I do not need this right now. I am getting death threats, going through a divorce and bringing up a baby'.
Levy, meanwhile, said she reported the incident to police.
And a spokesman for Mills didn't deny it, but did claim Heather was provoked:
"She was taking private notes from a lawyer when a woman tried to take her picture. Heather suspected she was a journalist. She even admitted she was trying to make some money out of her. Heather did kick her up the backside - all the staff and customers started clapping."
As loudly as men everywhere at the notion of Tara Conner in Playboy? We doubt it.