U.S. Border Patrol Drops the Ball: Anna Nicole Smith, Huge Breasts Return to America

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Forget illegal immigration - the U.S. Border Patrol screwed up big time on this one. Seriously. Couldn't we just seal off all major ports to keep this crazy, frequently-marrying "model" with enormous breasts from coming back?

Alas, Anna Nicole Smith is back in America for the first time since the death of her son Daniel in September. The reason? To resume her fight for her late husband J. Howard Marshall's fortune, of course.

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The former model, who moved to the Bahamas to give birth to baby daughter Dannielynn at the beginning of the summer - before having the power shut off and getting her fat ass thrown out by the Caribbean nation - arrived in court yesterday to continue her legal battle for Marshall's millions.

Although the new mom and defendant in one paternity suit after another was left out of her ex-husband's will, she contends that Marshall intended to provide for her through a special trust. Smith initially won a $474 million judgment, which was later slashed to $90 million and eventually reduced to zero as Marshall's late son E. Pierce Marshall fought to keep the actress away from his father's cash.

The U.S. Supreme Court then ruled that only federal courts in California could deal with her case. Smith attended the mediation hearing yesterday, wearing a black sequined suit and sunglasses. Classy, as usual. Howard K. Stern would be rolling in his grave if he could see this display.  But what do you really expect at this point.

All we have to say is boo, Anna Nicole Smith. Boo. Go back to the Bahamas!

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Anna Nicole Smith Biography

Playboy Bunny Anna Nicole Smith died too young. She lived a sad, difficult life, one marked by many nude photos, dramatic family episodes, turbulent... More »
Born
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Anna Nicole Smith
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