Santa Claus has a lot to deal with during the holiday season: stressed out elves, a neglected wife, washed up, desperate actresses that will write or sell anything for attention and money.

We can only imagine the strain of this fake smile on Saint Nick, as he entertains Tori Spelling and listens to her wish list of cash, fame and love.

We're guessing he preferred the company of a nice Katharine McPhee. Or a bad case of athlete's foot.

Meanwhile, it's at least safe to assume no child will put the Tori Spelling memoir on his or her Christmas list. There's a better chance that Heather Mills asks for a wheel chair as a gift than anyone reads that tiresome tome on purpose.