We haven't quoted The Sports Gal - wife of Bill Simmons, ESPN.com columnist - in a few weeks. Our bad.
In her most recent celebrity rant, The Sports Gal talks about how she'd update Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys, a classic Christmas tale. Here's her question:
In the year 2056, will they still be showing the same shows? What about the year 2112? Should we start making some new ones or some variations of the old ones? I think they should remake the one with Rudolph and the misfit toys and put him on an island with misfit celebrities:
K-Fed could be there, Lindsay Lohan, Katie Holmes, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Kate Moss, Michael Richards … and Rudolph could turn their lives around, and in the end, they could all find new homes. They could even hire the real celebs to do their own voices.
And they could even make the show newsworthy - like, this year's show could have Kate Bosworth refusing to eat the Gingerbread Man, a love triangle with Rudolph, Paris and Brandon Davis, Michael Richards screaming epithets about Rudolph's nose, and Nicole Richie driving her sled the wrong way and getting arrested. Everything would turn out fine in the end.
The best thing would be that they would never run out of misfit celebrities - there are at least 10 new ones every year.