Stavros Niarchos has already been there, done that.
He's seen plenty of Paris Hilton's pussy. That picture of Paris with the cute kitty is everywhere! He's also seen the hotel heiress naked a whole bunch, we're guessing. They are dating, after all, and she doesn't seem like the type who plays hard to get, if you know what we're saying.
We're saying Paris Hilton slings the poon faster than a strung-out Britney Spears pops prescription drugs in the bathroom at Hyde.
In any case, during a recent trip to a local video store, Stavros is once again confronted with having to rent the graphic Paris Hilton sex tape, 1 Night in Paris, that is really the girl's only claim to fame. Not only has he probably seen it 40 times by now (as has everyone with with Internet access), it's gotta be a little disturbing watching your girl ride some loser. But, for whatever reason, Paris always likes watching it...
We feel for you, Stavros. There are so many other good flicks out there! Not to mention TV shows. Here's hoping that the short-haired Greek God of Tang is able to sneak a Full House DVD into the pile one of these days, so he can brag to Paris how he once boned the chick (Ashley Olsen) that played Michelle. One of them, anyway.
Sorry. That was wrong. Happy weekend from all of us at T.H. Gossip!