Original Mr. Britney Spears (Jason Alexander) to Write Tell-All Book. Really. We Are Not Making This Up.

Britney Spears' first husband, Jason Alexander, is writing a tell-all book about their 55 hours of wedded bliss, as well as what it was like to grow up with the star in Louisiana.

Yes, the book will talk about how Jason tapped that ass (or, as he likes to call it, practiced makin' critters). And yes, Britney Spears knows about the book. And yes, it will upset her.

"Britney knows about it," Alexander said of his literary work. "There are things in the book that will upset her. It does feature having sex with her and what that was like."

Presumably, Mr. Alexander agreed to this here book deal before everyone else saw Britney Spears nude as well. Some publisher is kicking itself right now.

Jason and Britney married in Las Vegas in January 2004 and annulled the marriage less than three days later. We've gotten ahold of some bits and pieces from the book below.

We especially enjoy where he notes that Spears married that ass clown Kevin Federline because he was simply "in the right place at the right time."

As if he is one to talk, really.

On his feelings for Britney:
"I have always loved her and I always will. It's best for everyone that Kevin and her have split. She is much more confident now."

On her marriage to K-Fed:
"He's just a lucky guy who was in the right place at the right time. When I married her I knew she was rich but I did love her. I wanted her. If she had stuck with me it would have been so positive."

On Britney's kids:
"I am really surprised at the speed at which they had [Sean Preston and Jayden James] �" but it has always been a matter of time."

On Britney Spears' plastic surgery:
"She had a tummy tuck after the birth of her second child. She's working on all of that. She's worth hundreds of millions �" of course she looks good."