Michael Richards Issues Apology to Couple of Dudes Seeking Attention

Look, we're not on the side of Michael Richards.

The guy obviously has some anger and tolerance issues.

He makes Tom Cruise seem somewhat calm and normal.

But to the two men Richards offended during his racist rant last month at the Laugh Factory: get over yourselves.

You're not the first people to ever be insulted, you won't be the last. What, exactly, did you have to gain by appearing on national talk shows?

Oh, right, this heartfelt apology from the former Seinfeld star and your lawyer, Gloria Allred:

Michael Richards would like to apologize in person to the gentleman with whom he had the exchange in the club.

After discussions with Gloria Allred, an attorney who represents the man and three others who were with him that night, Michael has agreed that they will all meet in the presence of a retired judge who will facilitate the meeting and help the parties resolve this matter. All concerned are hopeful that a face-to-face meeting will be constructive and begin the necessary process of healing and closure.

Isn't that sweet? The chances that these fools aren't actually after Richards' money instead of this prepared statement are about as strong as the Kevin Federline reality show taking off.