K-Fed Tries to Sound Smarter, Scores Free Booze

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Fed-Ex, a.k.a. K-Fed or the K-Hole or Kevin Federline, is finally starting to realize people think he's a douche (took him what, three years?) - and is trying to change his image, dammit!

Not only did he send out a f*%king press release yesterday stating that he had replaced his trademark chains and wife-beater for a suit jacket and button-down shirt (and presumably pants, unlike his estranged wife), he's also trying to learn how to sound smart.

Kevin and Jayden James Federline

Federline and his posse randomly showed up at the Village Vanguard last week to catch the book launch of David Matalon and Chris Woolsey's "The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties."

Witnesses at the party report that Kevin "actually chatted up the authors and seemed interested in how to sound smart."

But eventually, his true nature took over.

"He and his buddies went to the bar and pounded Everglo liquor shots for the rest of the night," a friend says. "They were really there for the free booze. Pathetic."

Okay, that's lame. But give the guy a break. We know, we know. We are the last people on earth to defend Kevin Federline, and it pains us to do so. But he's always been one to get his drink on, and there's nothing wrong with showing up at a party for free booze. Who doesn't like free booze? Hell, we could go for some right now. If we mysteriouly stop updating the site aroud 11:45 EST, you'll know why.

Plus, at least he's showing some interest in his infant sons these days, unlike Ms. Britney Spears, who's more interested in going to Hyde. Every night. Sans underwear sometimes.

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Kevin Federline Biography

Family Love! Yo, it's Kevin Federline, yo. Werrrrrd. He's a deadbeat with no redeeming worth whatsoever, but yo, Federleezy is extremely fertile,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Fresno, California
Full Name
Kevin Earl Federline