November 2006 Archives

A day after his racist tirade was made public, Michael Richards publicly apologized.

Appearing via satellite (pictured) on The Late Show with David Letterman, the actor made some odd remarks. He acknowledged that such sentiment had the potential to "come[s] through and fire[s] out of me."

He then tried to find an awkward parallel between his ugly rant and conflict that has arisen between blacks and whites since Hurricane Katrina.

Jerry Seinfeld was on the program and actually told the audience to stop laughing at his friend. Richards said he lost his temper after some members of the audience interrupted his act and that he "took it badly," unleashing the racist invective that TMZ first aired yesterday morning.

He apologized to the people who took "the brunt" of his abuse, saying he was "really busted up," but then went on a strange tangent on race relations, saying he was "concerned about hate and rage" and about a "great deal of disturbance between blacks and whites" after Hurricane Katrina.

The remarks were random; not as random as things that Stephen Baldwin says. But still pretty darn random.

Richards did not say whether any other factors contributed to his actions, adding only that he would be doing "personal work" in the aftermath of the incident.

Harry Morton would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

We give Lindsay Lohan credit for being up front, though. She's not pulling any punches when it comes to being The Hollywood Harlot. If you're going to do everything in sight, you might as well make a little cash off it - and when you've resigned yourself to a life of prostitution, you might as well treat it like the business it is. Plus, she loves her boobs. Why not share?

Above, we see Lindsay assuming the position for her newest client. This is such a sad sight, in some ways, and yet refreshing in others. At least she isn't disingenuous, or hypocritical like those brats on Laguna Beach who call each other sluts while whoring around themselves. Besides, Lindsay is an equal opportunity philanderer - a little lesbian action is welcomed.

Britney Spears may be in for a rough ride and an ugly lesson in attempt to divorce that bastard husband of hers.

Federline has no interest in getting custody of the couple's two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Sure, he's asking for custody, but it's all a thinly veiled attempt to extort money from Spears. He could not care less about the kids. He'll just go have some more with some other chick. Give it a year or two. K-Fed probably doesn't even want Jayden James pictures.

Prior to tying the not with that deadbeat, Spears enjoyed a reputation as a sweet girl with a wild streak. Clearly, some of that wildness spilled over into their marriage, and rumors are flying that K-Fed is threatening to air some of her dirty laundry (such as the alleged Britney Spears sex tape) if she doesn't pay up.

Thanks to her prenup, a vengeful K-Fed will get less than $250,000 in spousal support and his $2.5 million share of their Malibu mansion and that's that. So how would Fed-Ex really cash in on Britney's fortune? Telling the judge about some things in Brit's past that may reflect poorly on her mothering skills. Of course, for X million bucks, he'll kindly drop it.

Yes, this legal form of blackmail may earn Kevin Federline many millions more than he deserves. Of course, he will probably blow it all on tricked-out cars, baggy jeans, gold chains and child support payments to his other kids with Shar Jackson in a couple of years. So there's some solace in that, at least.

Ever since news of the Britney Spears divorce broke, the singer has clearly done her best to forget the K-Hole. She's continuing to show off her single look, letting her hair down and taking to the streets of Las Vegas. Friday, the singer was accompanied by former manager Larry Rudolph (bottom, left). She also found time, as we previously reported, to hang with Mario Lopez. And she even won $10,000 gambling.

On Saturday, Brit made a new celebrity friend: Paris Hilton. The singer and the heiress enjoyed some high-stakes gambling and went on a spree to Ceasars Palace.

The wild pair partied into the night, dancing and laughing, and of course, making out like bi-curious sorority girls and chain-smoking (left).

The partying pair (bottom, right) landed at club Tryst in the Wynn hotel, where Brit was spotted getting down and dirty on the dance floor to several of Paris' songs. In fact, things got so heated in the club that Britney ditched her pants - really - prancing around the club in nothing but a button-down shirt, tie and pair of fishnet stockings.

No word on whether Shanna Moakler will now wish death upon Britney Spears by association (or if Nicole Richie became so jealous at the sight of Paris and Brit having a grand ol' time, she couldn't help but vomit). But one thing's for damn sure: it's great to have Spears single again, and we can't wait to see what transpires next.

B-list actor, Jesus freak and Baldwin brother Stephen Baldwin claimed on a recent flight from New York to Washington, D.C., that he and a friend were the inspiration for Jackass - and proved he deserves the label by annoying other passengers with tales of his adolescent and young adult antics.

Before he became a born-again Christian and denounced the likes of Tom Cruise (not that we blame S-Bald for bashing Scientology), Baldwin and his buddy swapped stories of their days spent raising hell, getting plastered and latching on to car bumpers in snowy parking lots on Long Island.

According to the New York Post's Page Six, Baldwin's buddy was overheard screaming and shouting that "Johnny Knoxville got rich by ripping our sh!t! off!"

A spy from the paper said that Baldwin and his pal were living it up and shooting the $h!t like a couple of frat-boy, beer-drinking rowdies. Which is ironic, since Baldwin doesn't imbibe. The other folks on board were less enthused.

"They should have been holding beers and standing on a street corner the way they were carrying on," a witness said.

Maybe Stephen should stick to praying for the souls of others. Like Daniel Baldwin, that car thief. Or Alec Baldwin, that funny, Saddam Hussein-like tyrant who won't even use condoms.

Any fan of Seinfeld is dismayed over the news that Michael Richards is a raving racist. Kramer's pratfalls and goofy expressions might never seem as funny as they once were.

So you can imagine how former co-star and sitcom namesake himself, Jerry Seinfeld, feels about the hate-filled diatribe. Actually, you don't have to imagine. Here's his statement:

I am sick over this. I'm sure Michael is also sick over this horrible, horrible mistake. It is so extremely offensive. I feel terrible for all the people who have been hurt.

Even white trash such as Kevin Federline knows not to say - or think - the things Richards spewed. The actor makes our misguided, incessant hatred for Lindsay Lohan seem rational.

If you thought that Britney Spears was stupid when she got married to Kevin Federline, or when she bore two of the hyper-fertile rapping aspirant's kids, we have news for you.

You were very, very right.

But if the supposed Britney Spears sex tape is real, that would bump her up another few notches on the moron meter, don't you think? Yes. And if the latest rumor regarding the alleged sex tape is true, she'd be taking to another level entirely.

In an effort to stop the K-Hole, a.k.a. K-Fed, from making any money from it, Britney is reportedly preparing a preemptive strike. She's seriously weighing leaking the tape for free. As in, no money needed to buy and view it. Many times.

Sources close to Spears report she is "seriously thinking about" giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of the four-hour long sex video.

During a trip to Louisiana last week with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, Spears hinted she may just post a clip of the video on MySpace.

"Brit figures she'll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she can by giving away Jayden James pictures," said Spears' family friend Nyla Price, 55, owner of Nyla's Burger Basket. "Half of nuthin' is nuthin', and that's what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it."

David Hans Schmidt: Rolling in grave.

Forget having to pay $29.99 for this DVD like you did for the legendary Paris Hilton sex romp. Or whatever they are going to charge for the Dustin Diamond sex tape. Yuck. Yup, no need to worry about getting fake versions of the thing or shelling out cash to see a nude Britney Spears get railed. You can delight in swatching Spederline go at it alll night long from the comfort of your laptop screen, and it will not cost you a dime!!

THG NOTE: It may, however, cost you any self-respect you once had.

While we seriously doubt that this story is real (and the early results of THG's Exclusive Britney Spears Sex Tape Poll seem to corroborate that assumption), here's hoping that it is. Because it would be the funniest story ever.

It's official: TomKat is a lawfully wedded psycho couple marital unit.

The crazy Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes exchanged vows Saturday in front of more than 150 guests at the Odescalchi Castle in Lake Bracciano, Italy.

"The wedding was absolutely beautiful," says a guest.

Way to elaborate and enlighten us, "guest."

With thousands of fans, photographers and TV cameras watching from afar, Cruise and Holmes were joined by family - Katie's dad, Martin, walked her down the aisle - and a slew of celebrity pals, including Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Brooke Shields and Chris Henchy, Victoria Beckham (below, right), Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey and alien life forms others.

The sunset ceremony was performed by a Scientology freak minister. The wedding party included Cruise's children, Isabella and Connor Cruise (below, left).

The best man was Cruise's best friend, David Miscavige, who happens to be the head of the Church of Scientology. Gulp. That's brainwashing, Holmes. Katie's sister, Nancy Blaylock, served as the matron of honor.

Initially, there were questions about whether Cruise and Holmes' marriage on Saturday was official - the Mayor of Bracciano, Italy, said the couple needed to have a civil ceremony in town in order to make it legal - Cruise's reps say TomKat took care of it beforehand.

"As is customary for couples marrying outside of the U.S., Cruise and Holmes officialized their marriage in Los Angeles prior to their departure for Italy," according to the statement.

Boooooooooooo!

For her "dream cult wedding," Holmes wore an off-the-shoulder Armani gown with an ivory silk train adorned in Valenciennes lace and Swarovski beaded crystal embroidery. She accessorized her gown with an ivory tulle floor-length veil and ivory silk shoes. Armani, which outfitted the entire event (save for Katie's $340 thong and trademark K-Mart casual wear, of course) also supplied the bride's champagne evening gown for the reception.

Saturday's wedding started on a damp note, with scattered rain throughout the morning. Holmes and 7-month-old daughter Suri Cruise were escorted into the castle under a cluster of green umbrellas. A little over an hour later, the groom was escorted from the Hassler hotel in Rome to Lake Bracciano 18 miles away. With the sun going down, candles lit up the perimeter of the 15th-century castle as limos carrying guests drove through the gates.

Sorry, Kanye West, there's a certain British female that claims your hit song doesn't apply to her reportedly selfish ways.

Despite ongoing accusations that she is, indeed, digging around for her ex-husband's gold, Heather Mills claims the English press has her all wrong.

"Eighty-five percent of my income goes to my charity. The word gold digger doesn't go with that," the profound Mills said to Extra. "If I was a gold-digger, I would have a lot of money in my bank account. I'd be worth millions and millions."

Mills also dared to claim she didn't marry Paul McCartney for his money:

"I'm a good mother. I'm a good person. I fell in love for the right reason. I fell in love unconditionally."

The conditions of her divorce, however, remain up for debate. But doesn't look as though Jimmy Fallon will waiver on his support for Sir Paul. Sorry, Heather.

In the Extra interview, Mills also denies rumors that she's having a relationship with her personal trainer, Ben Amigoni - "I haven't got a lover. At the moment, I'm focusing on my daughter. It's totally made up!" - and says she'll never marry again.

Finally, the blood-sucker credits recent weight loss to the vegan diet. She also says she's been developing "a vegan fast food chain and vegan food markets."

Kate Bosworth is already lining up outside the developments.

Saint Nick. The man knows who's naughty and who's nice. It's apparent, however, that he treats each with equal affection.

Take Sienna Miller (please, Jude Law would insist). The actress isn't exactly known for her benevolent ways, yet there she is with a jolly, welcoming Santa. You gotta hand it to the guy and his forgiving heart.

We're sure it was much easier for Mrs. Claus' husband to wear a smile for Katharine McPhee. The American Idol runner-up (right) caught up with the Christmas icon before he took off for a practice sleigh run last week.

As loving as Santa Claus appears to be, though, we wonder if he has anything in his sack this holiday season for Michael Richards. We're guessing it won't be anything but coal.

After a summer split with Jason Wahler and a brief relationship with Brody Jenner, Lauren Conrad says she's unattached. And happy about that.

Conrad, 20, hosted a barbecue for Maci, a 13-year-old girl with autoimmune hepatitis who'd flown to California from Port Saint Lucie, Fl., via the Make-a-Wish Foundation to meet the star at her parents' Laguna Beach home.

In an interview with People, Lauren Conrad confided that she's bad at dating.

"You know, I haven't really liked anyone since Jason," she said. "I'm a bad dater. I'm the most socially awkward person, like carrying on conversations and stuff... I don't want to date anyone right now anyway, so it doesn't really matter."

She and Brody Jenner were never serious, she said.

"He's a cool guy. We hung out a couple of times. But I went into it telling him â€" I was like, 'I don't want to date you,'" Conrad said. "Oh, he doesn't want a girlfriend either!"

More difficult, Conrad said, was her split with Wahler, which sources have attributed in part to Wahler's lack of brains asshole behavior heavy partying.

"Obviously, when you care about someone, you don't want to see them going down that (self-destructive) road. You want to care about them, you want to help them, but then you have to realize it's not your responsibility. So it's easier for me to step back and not know about and not hear about it."

Thankfully, it's not all about boyfriend drama for the star of The Hills. Besides the barbecue, Conrad took Maci for some impromptu boutique shopping in Laguna.

Maci said Laguna Beach was her favorite show.

"I liked Lauren the best, so I picked her," she said.

Maci said it was nerve-racking to meet the arch enemy of Kristin Cavallari, but that she was quickly made to feel at home by Lauren.

No word on whether Breanna Conrad was there.

"I asked her about her and Jason and she told me everything," Maci said. "I wasn't sure what she was going to be like, but she's real nice."

Conrad said she was just as thrilled about the visit.

"This is the most amazing thing to be able to do."