by Free Britney at . Comments

We certainly can't blame this poor feline. Paris Hilton is that nasty -- and we've certainly seen animals, such as this poor, pathetic pug, try to escape the clutches of the horrible heiress.

With the possible exception of ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos, and perhaps the legendary porn distributor David Hans Schmidt, no living thing would possibly want to be this close to the overused human condom herself. But alas, cute, innocent and defenseless animals don't always have a say in the matter.

Paris and Doug Kissing

This adorable kitten cannot speak. It can merely meow in resignation and wish it had the good fortune of being slaughtered to make one of Beyonce's fur coats or something. Anything would be better than this ordeal.

NOTE: The Pussycat Dolls were not available for comment.

by Mischalova at . Comments

I'm a cheesy pop star. I am. I sing pop music, pop music is cheesy.

This is probably the smartest thing Jessica Simpson has ever said. It's nice to see a celebrity recognize her place in the world, not taking herself or her role of singing cover songs too seriously.

C'mere!

Hear that, Lindsay Lohan?

Anyway, Ashlee's sister recently interviewed by Jane magazine. Here are tidbits from the discussion:

  • Dolly Parton is her idol.
  • She's into photography.
  • She listens to Judy Garland's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" every day.
  • She sees a white butterfly every day, but she can't figure out what it means.
  • Mary-Kate Olsen is her favorite Olsen twin.

We may have made the last one up. But the white butterfly may represent ex-husband Nick Lachey and the freedom he now has to date every woman under the sun.

Even if that's somehow not the case, we hope Jess is feeling better these days. Based on recent Jessica Simpson pictures, the singer is a few hair brush strokes short of beautiful.

by Mischalova at . Comments

First, the good folks at TMZ brought us a Paris Hilton picture of the drunken heiress in handcuffs. It made us smile.

Snoop Dogg on the Red Carpet

Now that reliable website has obtained a photo of a cuffed Snoop Dogg, snapped moments after cops found a gun and marijuana inside his vehicle at Bob Hope Airport in Burbank last week.

It makes us sad.

Poor Snoop seemed to be on the right track in movies such as Old School and Starsky and Hutch. But alas.

This arrest came just days before the Orange County District Attorney's Office fashizzled a warrant for the Dogg's arrest on charges of carrying a deadly weapon through a security checkpoint at John Wayne Airport.

We wonder if the rapper has fallen back into chillin with bad influences such as Dr. Dre and Eminem. If so, be strong, Snoop. Call up your former co-stars such as Owen Wilson instead.

The most trouble you could get in with him would be stealing wives from members of the Black Crowes.

by Free Britney at . Comments

If you thought the Scientology way of giving birth (no speaking!), you won't believe what those freaks do at weddings.

MSNBC is reporting that the wedding of TomKat is going to be conducted in the traditional style of the Scientology CULT "religion," with the groom addressed as the "Man" and the bride addressed as the "girl."

The Cruises

The name of the "girl" will not even be spoken, and she is only referred to as "girl" or "you" by the handler. Er, minister. Tom Cruise's name will be declared to all who attend, of course.

If the Cruise-Holmes wedding really turns out to be a Scientology ceremony -- as has been widely reported -- any feminists in attendance might be a tad miffed, to say the least. Even a cute, little, irate Suri Cruise might get up and leave!

So would Stephen Baldwin, no doubt, if he were invited. Which we are going to go out on a limb and guess that he's not.

The vows for a Scientology wedding are more than a tad strange. Quoting from the book "The Background Ministry, Ceremonies & Sermons of the Scientology Religion," MSNBC reports that the minister asks a bride:

And do you take
His fortune
At its prime and ebb
And seek
With him best fortune
For us all?
Do you?"

The minister then tells the groom:

Now, (Tom Cruise),
girls need clothes
And food and
Tender happiness and frills
A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat
All caprice if you will
But still
They need them.
Do you then
Provide?
Do you?

Do you, well, do you, do you? Huh? Eh? Eh? Answer! Good God. The staff at T.H. Gossip feels that Katie Holmes should take whatever dignity she has left and bolt for the door with Suri in tow. This Scientology crap is not only demeaning, it's just plain strange. Run for it -- girl!

by Free Britney at . Comments

The amazing Kevin Federline may have gotten his beat a$$ whomped on Monday Night Raw, but that didn't stop a couple of WWE favorites from coming out to support the aspiring rapper and actor at his recent CD release party.

Below, you'll see Mr. Britney Spears in all his glory along with Melina and Johnny Nitro. K-Fed's arch-rival, John Cena, apparently couldn't make it. Shame. In any event, it's good to see everyone having a good time in honor of this awful album's release.

K-Well-Fed

And yes, that is the skanky Paris Hilton with the aforementioned wrestling stars in the second pic. Who the hell let her out of her cage? Pity the WWE. Pity it indeed. Hopefully she got hit over the head with a chair after this photo was snapped.

 

 

by Mischalova at . Comments

While many fans are causing an uproar over Daniel Craig playing James Bond in the soon-to-be released, Casino Royale, the latest Bond girl appears to be overlooked.

But not anymore.

This is Eva Green. She plays Vesper Lind in the latest 007 installement and is seen below posing for Arena Magazine. While we haven't heard of that publication, either, we think the public will soon be hearing a lot from Green.

The actress has starred in Kingdom of Heaven alongside Orlando Bloom and will later be seen in Therese Raquin with Glenn Close.

Just remember you heard it here first, readers: Green and Abbie Cornish will be the next big actresses.

by Mischalova at . Comments

We believe in second chances. Maybe Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker will have theirs someday.

Don't scoff at that notion. Now that Kate Moss has been named Britain's Model of the Year, anything is possible.

Stylish Kate Moss

The honor comes during a series of cocaine allegations that cost the model millions of dollars in contracts. She's certainly made a recent comeback, but was it really award worthy?

Moss, 32, won out over two other finalists, Erin O'Connor and Alek Wek, at the British Fashion Awards.

"Kate Moss is a fashion icon and without doubt one of the most prolific models in the industry," the awards panel said in naming her the winner. "She has now been modeling for over 15 years and remains at the top of her game."

The British Fashion Council refused to comment on the potential controversy, akin to how Moss herself has been mum on possibly marrying Pete Doherty in the near future.

Earlier in the year, Moss lost contracts with H&M, Chanel, Gloria Vanderbilt and Burberry after the Daily Mirror newspaper published photos of her allegedly using cocaine at a music studio.

After the pictures were published, Moss publicly apologized and went to a drug rehabilitation clinic in Arizona. But that wasn't enough for those that think she didn't deserve any awards this year.

"To me it's baffling," said Colombian Vice President Francisco Santos, speaking in Britain this week during an anti-drug campaign.

Even if she hadn't won, Moss took take pride in her celebrity influence. Stars such as Nicole Richie have been lining up to look and act just like her.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Super-slim Simple Life star Nicole Richie allegedly checked into the Beau Monde treatment center last Thursday to seek help to gain weight, but checked out 72 hours later, insisting she needed some retail therapy.

Seriously. We couldn't make this stuff up, hard as it is to believe. Then again, when Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker spar through divorce parties and MySpace rants, everything seems normal by comparison.

Cute Celebrity Baby-Mom Duo

Anyway, regarding Richie, a source is quoted by Star magazine as saying:

"Nicole is in complete denial and oblivious to how sick she is. She said she wanted to go shopping. The center's staff begged her to stay but she wouldn't listen and left."

The 25-year-old, adopted daughter of singer Lionel Richie denies she has one or more eating disorders and insisted she entered the $80,000-a-month centre in Newport Beach to undergo tests to find out why she couldn't put on weight.

Maybe she got ahold of the same Nicole Richie pictures we've been looking at in recent weeks. A spokeswoman said last Thursday:

"Nicole has decided to undergo diagnostic treatment to determine why she's not been putting on any weight."

"She is working with a team of doctors and specialists whose focus is nutrition. It is important to Nicole that she achieves this goal in a healthy way as this is not a treatment for an eating disorder."

Regardless of what she has, Nicole Richie looks pretty damn rough. Though perhaps not as much so as Anna Nicole Smith. You be the judge.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Now THESE are signs of a mature break-up:

First, Shanna Moakler is throwing a "divorce party" at the Bellagio in Las Vegas on Friday. And that's okay - for some, a crazy night in Sin City with hundreds of their closest friends is the way to get over a difficult time in life.

Shanna Pic

Moakler's ex, Travis Barker, wasn't as sympathetic, however. He happened upon the flyer (pictured) and posted the following gentle soliloquy on his MySpace page:

THIS IS THE SAME WIFE THAT EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN MY BED THE DAY OF OUR ANNIVERSARY 2 DAYS AGO SO THIS DOESN'T COME AS A SHOCK. AND THE SAME PERSON WHO IS MAKING "I LOVE SHANNA" SHIRTS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY, IN SUPPORT OF ALL THIS AND PLAYING THE VICTIM, IT SADDENS ME PEOPLE AND EVEN BRINGS ON THE URGE TO PUKE, HOPE IT DOES YOU AS WELL.

IM GONNA SAY A LONG PRAYER FOR HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THERE ISN'T A PART OF SHANNA AND I AND THE FACT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED THAT I COULD BE CELEBRATING OR HAPPY ABOUT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME IT WAS OUR FAMILY…IT WAS ALL WE HAD……I MEAN A PARTY??? WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER:)

HOPE SHANNA'S PARTY IS EVERYTHING SHE COULD HOPE 4.

We wonder which is worse: the fact that Barker has often thrusted his tongue down the throat of Paris Hilton (also pictured)? Or the fact that he replaced the word "for" with the number "4" in this post?

Either way, we hope these kids find peace and happiness. And it could be worse - Barker could have possibly gotten Karrine Steffans pregnant immediately following the divorce.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Deadbeat dad and former R&B hit-maker Bobby Brown has reportedly done it again. No, he hasn't released a hit single. What is this, 1992?

Brown, pictured here in his formative years, has allegedly impregnated girlfriend Karrine Steffans. Again. After telling her he got a vasectomy.

Terrell Owens, Bobby Brown

The bad boy moved in with the home-wrecking video vixen-turned-author after his wife, Whitney Houston, filed for divorce earlier this year.

Now the child support-dodging, woman-beating assclown is about to become a dad again. That certainly didn't take long.

According to the National Enquirer, Steffans, 28, is expecting Brown's fifth child.

A source tells the publication:

"When Karrine found out she was pregnant she was so angry because Bobby had told her he couldn't have more kids."

Well, there goes that theory. This guy is clearly setting the bar pretty high for Kevin Federline, though the aspiring rapper still has many more fertile years in him.

Lovers Steffans and Brown are reportedly making plans for a reality TV show focusing on their romance. While that show will clearly eat it, it sounds a lot more interesting than Tori Spelling's new show. Buying a B&B? Come on.

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