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The founder of Death Row Records says there's a reason why Snoop Dogg keeps avoiding jail time despite repeated arrests for drug and gun possession:

He's a narc.

"Snoop is a rat," says rap mogul Suge Knight to Page Six. "He's a police informer. This is the only guy who never goes to jail no matter what. I don't like rats."

Still, jail might be about the safest place for Snoop after the new Rolling Stone hits the stands, in which he disses Suge, whose real name is Marion, something fierce.

"I stepped to him at the BET Awards [four years ago]... and he was more scared than a motherf***er," said Snoop of Suge. The Doggfather also says he "never was afraid" of Suge, and "was afraid I was gonna have to kill him."

With all due respect, Snoop, we hope you're on your way to the FBI to get yourself into the local witness protection program as we speak. No way you're not scared of Suge. He's probably the scariest person alive. We're hesitant to even do a story about him, to be honest. This isn't a wannabe hard-ass like The Game or something.
In an interview with the New York Post, Suge shot back:

"Snoop Dogg has never been in a real fight. When there's trouble, he runs to the police. He throws up and starts crying."

No word on whether Snoop sobbed during his latest arrest Monday on drug and gun charges.

So who's more hard core? You be the judge. Please gaze upon and enjoy this Suge Knight mug shot, along with the more recent Snoop Dogg mug shot. And, why the hell not, while we're at it, take a gander at this 50 Cent mug shot, too.

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Oprah Winfrey has morphed into a middle-aged white woman.

So claims 50 Cent, the rap star who has been shot more times than he can count. Yes, we know it's only nine. We're saying the moron can't count to nine.

Fifty Cent

Fiddy contends that Oprah caters to the needs of whites more than she does her black sisters, and accused the talk show mogul of being an Oreo â€" black outside, white inside â€" in an interview in the January issue of Elle.

The rapper, who was recently busted for driving with no car insurance, is pissed because the Queen of All Media "started out with black women's views but has been catering to middle-aged white American women for so long that she's become one herself."

Along with Ice Cube and other rappers, 50 has previously taken shots at The Big O for not having rap artists as guests on her show. Oprah has sharply criticized rappers for their "hateful" and degrading lyrics and says she won't host them on her program for that reason.

Um, 50? Most rappers are hateful. We know you and The Game made up and all, but not before countless acts (and even more threats) of violence. Idiot. Oprah, meanwhile, advocates charity and compassion for the less fortunate. We do wish 50 would appear on Oprah's show, though, yo, just so we could hear the following discussion:

OPRAH: "Tell us about your latest album."
50: "You got a problem? Pop off, n!gga. G-G-G-G-G-Unit!"

Just to add fuel to 50's fire, O just bought a new pad on one of Chicago's most exclusive blocks, where thugs of his ilk would probably be locked up if they drove through. We tried to reach 50 for comment, but he was most likely in Da Club, rollin' 20 deep and so forth.

 

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We're not sure what Kimberly Stewart had more of at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday: expensive luggage or bitterness at the world.

The daughter of Rod Stewart, who may be more useless than Nicole Richie (at least she leaves extra food for people), sported a pair of vintage, vicious boots as she strolled to her chafeur-driven ride. You can see their delightful message for yourself in this picture.

A Kimberly Stewart Pic

Rod must be as proud of Kimberly as Mel Gibson is of Michael Richards.

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Don't worry, Anna Nicole Smith, you're no longer stuck in a home with no lights. You're just stuck without a home.

After weeks of speculation about whether or not the chesty crazy woman would be allowed to remain in the Bahamas, TMZ obtained a default judgment issued yesterday against Smith:

Playboy Bunny

G. Ben Thompson, the owner of the home in which Smith has been living, recently filed papers to evict her and Smith was required to respond to Thompson's filing by Monday. Shockingly, she failed to do so.

Yesterday, the court entered a default judgment, which means Thompson can now force Smith and Howard K. Stern out of the house.

Thompson - along with half the male population - was once romantically involved with Smith and claims she told him he was the father of her baby. Thompson says he put a quick end to Smith's claim when he informed her that he had a vasectomy several years ago.

Larry Birkhead is now claiming that he's the real father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

And we're claiming that Anna Nicole Smith has officially passed Flavor Flav as the craziest celebrity. It was a close race.

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In the December issue of Vogue, Nicole Kidman lets fans know about her up and down love life.

It's one that's included a nut case and a drunk - not that we don't wish the best for them both. Let's listen in to this beautiful actress ...

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

On marrying young:
"You get the advice ‘Don't get married when you're 22,' and you just think, They don't know what they're talking about! But now I look back and think, Oh, there's probably some truth to that."

On marriage:
"Not giving up who you are, I think that's the big lesson."

On her marriage to Tom Cruise:
"Honestly, I would have stayed married for the rest of my life. It's not like I regret who I was in that marriage; I don't at all. It was eleven years of my life. It wasn't 50 years; it turned out to be 11."

On meeting Keith Urban:
"I was very wary, and damaged…It wasn't that I'd give up hope, I was just…asleep. But now I feel like I've woken up again. Rather than living through characters, I've learned to be myself."

On life with her husband:
"We spend an enormous amount of time together, and we're determined to do that. I've spent too much time away from my family, and I just have no desire to live like that."

On settling in Nashville, TN:
"This is my home now. This is the most time I've spent anywhere in years. I wanted to be earthed, and I didn't feel earthed for so long, maybe not since I was a child…I don't feel like I'm floating around, which is how it had been for many years, probably because I wasn't that happy."

On having more children:
"I'd like to be a mother again. I always thought I'd eventually live on a Fijian island. I love the idea of being in a sarong, with hair down to my bum and kids following my around and hanging out."

That sounds nice. Or as weird as Cruise's new wife, Katie Holmes. Either way, Kidman is tall and talented.

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We're guessing Mel Gibson was trying to help a fellow entertainer out. You know, one raving lunatic to another.

"I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress," Gibson said about Michael Richards. "You don't need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape. But my heart went out to the guy."

He Looks So Normal Here

That's sweet. Jamie Foxx, meanwhile, wants his fists to go out to him.

For those living under a rock for the past few weeks: The former Seinfeld star was captured on a videocam spewing racial epithets after losing his temper during an appearance onstage at the Laugh Factory comedy club in Los Angeles.

He quickly followed up with an apology on the David Letterman Late Show, as well as with meetings with Rev. Al Sharpton and the Rev. Jesse Jackson, on whose syndicated radio program Richards appeared.

Gibson, of course, hates Jewish people. The two make a nice pair.

He told Entertainment Weekly, though, that people in Hollywood are not refusing to work with him.

"No, people aren't like that," he says. "Those are just the headlines: 'Mel ostracized by Hollywood! Hollywood is what you make it.' There is no great pooh-bah up there saying, 'Go! You are condemned!'"

Fortunately for Mel, recent nude Britney Spears pictures will help take attention away from his hateful ways. And probably everything else in the world.

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The question in England is no longer whether or not Prince William and Kate Middleton will break up, it's whether they will stay together. Forever.

Now into their fifth year as an absurdly attractive couple, Will and Kate have lately seemed so snuggly that the engagement gossip is getting as hot as a pot of Earl Grey, reports People magazine.

Catherine and William

The relationship appears a lot more solid than that of K-Fed and Kendra Jade.

On Sunday, it was even reported that Kate has been invited to the Queen's country retreat Sandringham to join the entire Windsor clan for Christmas Day lunch â€" an unprecedented honor for an unmarried partner of a royal and essentially tantamount to an engagement.

Our guess is that Heather Mills has not exactly received the same sort of invitation at any point.

So just how close is Will to popping the question? Those in the know at Buckingham Palace say no one is ordering "Save the Date" cards just yet and insist Kate isn't being formally groomed for the future.

"There are no people advising her or preparing her for anything," says one palace insider. "She is going about her private life as a private individual."

But not for long. These kids seemed more destined to be together than Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock. Then again, so does most of the free world.

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The saga continues for Britney Spears.

We knew she was about to get down and dirty in an ugly, messy divorce, and that she has made it clear that she's willing whatever it takes to make sure Kevin Federline can't claim another cent -- even if that means giving away Jayden James Federline pictures for free.

Britney Video Twitpic

But we thought she could still afford underwear.

Apparently, in Britney's world, party time (ex-cellent!) means panties are optional. We've seen nude Britney Spears pics before, but these take it to another level. We are talking full-on, shaved crotch shots, people. She is officially out of her pants - and mind. Then again, should we really be surprised? The girl is hanging out with Paris Hilton, after all.

Out of basic decency and respect for Britney, we've covered up the explicit portions of the pics below. But our image gallery still speaks volumes. Behold, a THG photo essay of the newly-single Britney Spears... (click to enlarge)

TOP ROW: Here we see Britney Spears getting pumped up for a night on the town - literally! She's certainly got mad skillz at the pump, unlike that elitist Oprah Winfrey (sorry, Big O). To the right, Brit's terrified son, Sean Preston, is carried by mom while trying to feel up Paris Hilton. It's a position we all know and love.

MIDDLE ROW: Last weekend, Britney was spotted in a green top showing off her absolutely enormous breasts. Not that we're complaining. She looks a tad strung out, though. She should probably sleep more. It only gets worse. On the right, we have a pants-less Spears swarmed by paparazzi. We hate pants too, Brit, but come on. You have to know this is coming when you go out to bars, right?

BOTTOM CROTCH ROW: Captured by photographers at the most inopportune time, Britney was either in the middle of changing outfits during her clubbing romp... or just looking to get romped by a photographer. Seriously. Don't you put on your clothes before opening the door? Or before going out in public at all?

We know Britney has to get some partying out of her system after such a rough marriage, but use your brain, girl. You're making Anna Nicole Smith look smart.

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First, there was the Paris Hilton sex tape. Yech.

Then, the Dustin Diamond sex tape. Yikes.

Jessica and Ken

Finally, rumors of a Britney Spears sex tape.

Yippee.

Now comes perhaps the sex tape possibility to end all sex tape possibilities:

Jessica Simpson is reportedly reeling over talk that a certain video is about to be leaked onto the Internet.

In the alleged X-rated romp, Jessica is seen engaging in a number of acts with then-husband Nick Lachey that would make even Crazy Joe Simpson blush.

In other words: please make this be real! T.H. Gossip can't handle being teased like this again.

On second thought, sure we can. But we still hope this is legit. A source reportedly close to the couple told Britain's Daily Sport newspaper:

"Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."

Except when she cheated on Nick with Bam Margera, that is.

According to reports, the tape does exist and has no doubt fallen into the dirty clutches of David Hans Schmidt.

How the heck did that guy get his job?

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It's not just a sad day for Snoop Dogg, it's a troubling week for Miss America 2006, Jennifer Berry, as well.

No, the beauty wasn't arrested, but she did undergo surgery for undisclosed reasons and spent the night in a North Carolina hospital, a pageant official confirmed Tuesday.

Jennifer Berry is a Tulsa native and former student at the University of Oklahoma. She was visiting family and friends in North Carolina on Saturday when she was admitted for surgery at Rex Hospital in Raleigh.

Because she was released the next day, we hope and assume it wasn't serious.

We also commend Berry for being honest about any procedure, unlike a certain celebrity named Ashlee Simpson.

"I spoke to her today, and she's in wonderful spirits," said Sharon Pearce, a spokeswoman for the Miss America Organization in Atlantic City.

"Although it was necessary to cancel some of her appearances this week, we are hopeful that she will return to work to fulfill her responsibilities as Miss America 2006 and continue the wonderful work that has marked her year of service."

Amen. It should be noted that those responsibilities contribute more to society than anything Nicole Richie has ever done.

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