ESPN's Sports Gal Goes Off on Ryan/Reese, Britney/K-Fed, Patrick Demspey/Wife

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The last time we heard from The Sports Gal - wife to ESPN.com columnist, Bill Simmons - she expressed negative views concerning Kristin Cavallari and The Bachelor, Lorenzo Borghese.

The focus of the Gal's latest online diatribe? Celebrity divorces. And any fan of The Hollywood Gossip knows there have been 1-2 dozen recently. Here's her column, paraphrased slightly:

Two big celebrity breakups this month and it's not even Nov. 15!!! I could see Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe coming to the Oscars - Ryan wasn't that happy for Reese when she won, but when Crash won best picture he reacted like his team just won the World Series.

Bill has said for years they would break up because she's much more successful than him and no guy could handle that. I agree and it's never a good sign when you meet on the set of Cruel Intentions. But couples that play together stay together.

After all, if both of you are always traveling around to film movies, how is that a relationship unless you're going out of your way to spend time?

I think this is why Justin Timerlake and Cameron Diaz stay together - Us Weekly always has pictures of them surfing in Hawaii and stuff, it really seems like they like each other. They are my favorite celeb couple.

Anyway, I feel bad for Reese and Ryan because Britney and K-Fed trumped them this week. This was the most inevitable celebrity breakup ever. Any wedding reception that includes the groom wearing a pimp-emblazoned sweat suit and bridesmaids wearing sweat suits with the word "ho's" doesn't have a chance, obviously.

I also think celebrities lose their minds when they become too famous because they get picked apart all the time, so they end up reacting in strange ways. You know, like marrying a white-trash loser with no talent who has a baby with someone else (Shar Jackson). This isn't even worth talking about because it was so predictable.

But I did want to say one thing. Sometimes, Bill makes bets ahead of time for who will win the NFL or NBA. (I can't remember him ever winning, but he claims he's won a few. Whatever.)

I think they should have these bets for celebrity breakups. Every year would be a season and there would be odds for each couple. If they had this when I was in Vegas this summer, I definitely would've bet on Ryan/Reese and K-Fed/Britney.

Now I'd bet on Patrick Dempsey and his wife. When he married her, he was just the guy from Can't Buy Me Love. Now, he's the hottest guy on the hottest TV show and his wife is probably a basket case every time he leaves the house. He'll end up breaking up with her and immediately hooking up with someone awful like Kirsten Dunst.

I am already mad at him and it hasn't even happened yet.

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