by Free Britney at

The concept of a Jessica Simpson sex tape streaming live over the Internets is enough to millions upon millions of men excited (sick bastards). Not to mention add to the already considerable wealth of celebrity porn broker god David Hans Schmidt.

But it's Jessica herself who's getting the most riled up. As she said when the story broke yesterday, she's upset that the terms "Jessica Simpson" and "sex tape" are being used in the same sentence. Is that because she's just offended at the thought, or because it's real, it's raw, and it's kinky -- and she's petrified it'll actually get out?!

Jessica Simpson Cosmo Cover

 

Eh? Probably the former. We doubt very much that a Jessica Simpson sex tape exists, not unlike the rumored Britney Spears sex tape of weeks past. But if there were a tape of Jessica being railed six ways from Tuesday by her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, and it were in the hands of a sketchy celebrity skin slinger, she probably would react in this manner. Wouldn't you?

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by Hilton Hater at

They had some tough times.

We were afraid Tony Parker and Eva Longoria might never get to the point.

Eva Longoria Photograph

But we're now proud to announce: the pair is engaged.

"Eva and Tony are officially engaged," Longoria's rep, Liza Anderson, offers as proof. "The couple have [sic] never been happier."

Parker, a point guard for the San Antonio Spurs, flew into Los Angeles after his game on Wednesday night and surprised Longoria at her home as she got off work, according to the actress's rep, who added:

"The proposal was romantic and perfect."

Let's hope Rupert Friend was taking notes.

The couple plans to wed in France next summer in what they describe as a "big, happy ceremony with lots of family and friends."

It almost didn't happen, though. Rumors flew that Eva and long-time friend, Mario Lopez, were an item. It's possible The Hollywood Gossip spread some of those.

But we apologize. We hope we can still snag a wedding invite. We promise not to bring Brandon Davis as a date.

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by Free Britney at

Who's the mysterious putz in this picture of Britney Spears? It's Brandon Davis! The professional partygoer and oil heir hung out with our girl last night in Los Angeles.

Guess with Paris Hilton nowhere in sight, Britney had to settle for a D-list sidekick. The pop star train wreck chilled at the Roosevelt Hotel yesterday, and while there were (thankfully) no nude Britney Spears pictures to be had, she brought a long a particularly pathetic posse fronted by none other than Brandon Davis. See below:

Jayden James Federline and Britney

Seems to us there's a correlation between Paris Hilton's presence and female genitalia being flashed and slung around like nobody's business.

In any case, T.H. Gossip, like the rest of the civilized world, is happy Britney has dumped Kevin Federline and is out and having fun these days. But seriously now. Surely she can find some better people to hang out with than this loser. He was the first to term Lindsay Lohan "Firecrotch," however, so we gotta give props where they're due.

Speaking of the elder Lohan sister, the third member of last week's Hollywood ho train could not be reached for comment.

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by Hilton Hater at

First, there were reports that Keira Knightley and Rupert Friend were engaged. Then, they weren't. Now, we have no idea.

But we do have a couple of anonymous sources willing to talk about the relationship!

One pal (maybe it was Scarlet Johannson, they hang out a lot) said:

"Keira's a really loving girlfriend but she's so insanely busy with work ... She's done everything in her power to make Rupert feel important but he still complains that he doesn't get enough attention, and it's causing real friction."

Does that mean this couple will go the way of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston?

Or is there still hope the pair will turn out like Prince William and Kate Middleton?

Another sources said Rupert has told pals he feels like the "fifth element," saying Keira puts family, friends, work and "everything else" before him.

The Hollywood Gossip says: suck it up, dude. You get to often make out with this beautiful star; we're left with nothing but Keira Knightley pictures.

Wanna trade spots?

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by Hilton Hater at

It may have been difficult to pull himself away from Ali Lohan for a few minutes, but Wilmer Valderrama found time to talk with Us Weekly recently.

Wilmer Photo

And we found time to copy the interview.

Us: Did you read the book Fast Food Nation?
WV: It was very interesting because all my friends who were in college, [and] this book became almost mandatory for them to read. I actually didn't read the book. I wasn't aware of it. But when I read the script, I thought "Wow." It became a project that was just so exciting to be a part of. Maybe a few times in a career [you] get a chance for a role that really means something, and this was it.

Us: What was the hardest part of playing this role?
WV: I think that's a really important question. As Latinos, we are so aware of what people go through in order to come to America. It's very interesting to do research on something that's been culturally a part of your existence.

Us: You've said that your character reminded you of your own childhood experiences. How?
WV: Yes. I grew up in Venezuela, and when I was 14-years-old, my parents decided to sell everything and come to America. Five of us lived in a two bedroom house. It wasn't a sad truth, it was just the way it was [at the time]. That feeling is so universal for every immigrant.

It's just frustrating because we're such a small percentage of the population who have a voice. As a Latin man, obviously immigration has been a part of my culture for decades. [I] grew up understanding what you go through in order to come to this country and searching for that American dream.

THG NOTE: For Wilmer, part of the American Dream has also been dating Lindsay Lohan ... Mandy Moore ... Jennifer Love Hewitt ...

Us: Do you feel compelled to start a charity or give back in some way?
WV: For me, honestly, I'm an actor. There's one thing I know how to do - act. And that's all I know how to do. Through our work, [actors] can trigger awareness.

Us: Do you still eat fast food or did this movie influence you to change your diet?
WV: I played sports, so I understood quickly I shouldn't be eating fast food because it was slowing me down, making me feel lousy and lazy, and my instincts were not working as they should. I was always wondering why the first ten minutes of eating fast food is heavenly and then after those ten minutes you start feeling like s**t?

Doing this movie made me realize that our bodies are digesting things that it's not meant to digest. It's pretty bad for you. The cast is [now] very, very aware of where we get our food and what we put in our bodies.

THG NOTE: So is Kate Bostworth.

Us: What's up next for you?
WV: I have a few things going on. December 8, I'm releasing Unaccompanied Minors, which is a big fun Christmas movie for Warner Brothers. Next year I'll be doing C.H.I.P.S.

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by Free Britney at

See, Britney? It's not so hard to put on underwear.

Just take a cue from one of your biggest fans, Pink. This chick can be freaky and abrasive and flat-out nuts, but she left dinner in London the other night with her class intact. A crafty photographer snuck up on Pink to attempt a crotch shot, but she thwarted him - by dressing herself in appropriate fashion prior to going out.

Pink on Stage

 

Wow. We certainly didn't imagine when we woke up this morning that we'd be lauding Pink as a role model (or that we'd be talking about Suge Knight, for that matter), but it's just another day in the life of T.H. Gossip. You do what you have to do.

We're grateful for this positive story. Much as we appreciate nude Britney Spears pictures, it's also reassuring, at the same time, that we're not inundated with rampant beaver every time a young female celeb decides to go clubbin'.

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by Hilton Hater at

Based on this picture of a pregnant Kim Porter, it's safe to assume she wasn't dancing on any tables during her baby shower last week.

The girlfriend of Diddy - and soon-to-be mother of his twin girls - probably has trouble just watching a DVD of Dirty Dancing over her huge stomach these days. At least we would imagine so. No one at T.H. Gossip has ever been pregnant.

But it could be worse. She could be experiencing the wrath of Suge Knight, for example. That is one scary motherf*%ker you don't want to piss off.

Or Kim could be forced to listen to an Ali Lohan album. We're pretty sure child birth is nothing compared to that.

Meanwhile, if Diddy and Kim are in need of names, we're sorry to report the following, sad news: Thijs is taken.

However, the possibility of a play date with Jayden James Federline and numerous other mystery celebrity babies remains.

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by Free Britney at

It appears as if the sight of nude Britney Spears pictures plastered all over the web has sent a message to even the pop princess herself.

Britney Spears, Jason Trawick Pic

Yes, forgetting to put underwear on before going to clubs and being hounded by paparazzi is probably not the smartest of moves. So, determined not to let this tragedy happpen again, Britney Spears (right) actually put on normal jeans and visited Le Bra Lingerie in L.A.

There she picked up some badly-needed items for her unmentionables, shown to the world up close and personal and in almost disturbing detail a day ago.

Numerous sources report she spent more than $3,000 on thongs and other fancy underthings, a price tag that would rival Katie Holmes' recent spending spree at the same location.

That's an absurd amount of money to spend on things that are just going to end up on the floor of the ladies room anyway. Of course, it's a little less crazy for Katie, who got them for her honeymoon with Tom Cruise, than for Britney, who's just trying to look good for that tramp Paris Hilton.

Specifically, Brit charged up a camisole and thong for $1,315, a bustier and thong for $510, a black corset and matching red thong for $300, and a yellow bra and thong for $333. Britney, whose breasts measure 36C, came in with a female friend and was overheard saying "I could live here."

So could we.

Meanwhile, a London tabloid reports that Jason Alexander is writing a tell-all book about Britney. Somehow he seems to have the scoop on everything she does, including a tummy tuck after Jayden James Federline was born.

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by Free Britney at

Jennifer Lopez is turning to the teachings of Scientology in an effort to become a mother, according to various new reports.

Jennifer Lopez Close Up

The diva star, who recently attended the Italian wedding of celebrity Scientology fiend Tom Cruise, is reportedly taking tips from actress Leah Remini, who used the doctrines of the religious cult group when she was trying to conceive her first child.

According to Life & Style, J. Lo became interested in Scientology when Remini confided in her that the religion helped her conceive.

"She's starting to understand the cleansing process. It's all about putting the positive energy where you want it," a source tells the magazine.

The source insists Lopez and her husband, Marc Anthony, are unlikely to join the ranks of those brainwashed freaks because he's a devout Catholic, but at the same time, "he's willing to let Jen do what she needs to make things happen."

Hopefully, those things involve three-minute kisses, silent births, vows and ceremonies that are downright scary and other nonsense.

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by Free Britney at

It's only been a month since Nicole Richie announced she was seeking treatment for her inability to gain weight, and friends are noticing no difference at all already noticing a difference, People reports.

"She has (put on) at least five pounds," says a source close to the actress. "She wants to prove she's trying to change."

A Nicole Richie Image

The newly brunette Richie has even "distanced herself from a lot of (old) friends," adds the source. Among those old friends is Rachel Zoe, her old and annoying stylist for the past three years, with whom Richie split last week.

Richie, whose brittle, skeletal frame had fallen to around 90 pounds, somehow found the energy to attend the American Music Awards last week in a vintage Christian Dior dress with the help of new style consultant, Cristina Ehrlich, looking "much healthier***," said an onlooker.

Now she's ready to shoot the fifth season of her reality show, The Simple Life, which was postponed due to her treatment. Says her on-again pal and co-star Paris Hilton:

"She looks better than she's ever looked. I love it."

So, it would seem, does Richie. But really, how significant is putting on five pounds when you're withering away to nothing. I mean come on. Please see our gallery of recent Nicole Richie pictures and the pic in this very post before you believe this PR crap. Does this look like a healthy person? No. Thank you.

*** - "much healthier" = "like she stole Britney Spears' breasts."

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