Apparently, Stavros Niarchos didn't answer his phone, forcing a lonely Paris Hilton to feel up this poor, innocent pug.

Unfortunately, said pug's plea fell upon deaf ears as onlookers (presumably ones who have heard Paris' album) failed to rescue it.

The look on the canine's face really says it all. But in case that wasn't enough for you, we've taken the liberty of translating his expression into words. Or one word.

You get the idea -- this celebrity dog would like nothing more than to get the f*%k out of there immediately. Or play fetch. Dogs love attention, but come on, Paris. He's as terrified of you as we are.

We certainly sympathize with the poor critter. We would be mightily concerned ourselves if we were in the clutches of the talentless, STD-ridden waste that is Paris Hilton.

Yech. That is some nasty $h!t.