Ellen DeGeneres, Virtual Seal, Reporting for Duty

For a long time, Suri Cruise pretended to exist (and, come on, we still have questions).

Now, Ellen DeGeneres is gonna pretend to be a seal.

Yes, you read that correctly. The next Oscars host will become a virtual seal who heads up an environmentally conscious flock on the California Bay as part of a new website.

"I just think [seals] are adorable," she said. "I've always loved animals and I want to do anything I can to help."

In related news, apparently Dustin Diamond has always found porn stars adorable and wants to do anything he can to help.

DeGeneres is lending her famous name to Dawn Saves Wildlife, a Web-based program to educate visitors about how they can help save the environment and protect aquatic animals from pollution.

Site visitors can become virtual pelicans, penguins, ducks or seals and form "flocks" with their friends as they learn simple sea-saving steps, such as recycling used motor oil and disposing of cooking grease in sealed containers.

Of course, Mary-Kate Olsen has done her part to help but not eating seafood. Or anything at all.