Hey, there's this new hot girl promoting Sketchers shoes. Oh, wait! That's Ashlee Simpson. Man, does T.H. Gossip miss the days when she was just the little sister and less talented version of Jessica Simpson. Those days are so long gone.

Sigh. Somehow, despite being as worthless as they come and bordering on Mischa Barton-like skinniness, Ashlee has somehow turned herself into a marketing mogul. Somebody beat us over the head with some Sketchers, please!

A lesson to all you young, impressionable girls out there: if you have major self-esteem issues, just go ahead and get a plastic surgeon to rearrange your face. Really, it'll do wonders for your social life -- you might even convince your daddy to buy you a music career (talking to you, Crazy Joe Simpson) and land a bunch of endorsement deals!

Ain't life grand?