Anna Nicole Smith: A Heartwarming Wedding Portrait

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We were going to make a category entitled "Train Wrecks" for the site, but then it occurred to us that we already have an Anna Nicole Smith section, so there's really going to be no comparison. She gets married a lot, is involved in many, many legal disputes and has huge breasts. What more is there to say about Anna Nicole Smith, in all honesty?

Playboy Bunny

Above is a picture taken of the unattractive, probably-senile "actress" and "model" during her recent wedding. What the hell is wrong with this woman? Does she have something in her eye? Actually, don't answer that. We don't want to know. All we can say is that this makes the Kid Rock-Pamela Anderson wedding look bland.

Who knows if this jackass is one of the many people vying to be known as Anna Nicole's baby's daddy. But unlike her most recent husband, this guy's probably not going to die within six months â€" so we're making progress here!

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