Paul McCartney has four children. One daughter turned three years old over the weekend.
The other wants to kill her ex-step mother, Heather Mills.
We'll start with the non-homicidal news: At the third birthday of their daughter Beatrice in East Sussex, England, the feuding couple played nicely together, according to published accounts.
It was like they were Sara Evans and Craig Schelske in court.
However, McCartney and Mills left separately, with Paul taking away Beatrice in a chauffeur-driven car around 10 minutes before Heather took off with some leftover birthday cake, Britai's Hello! magazine states.
One mother, whose son happened to be at the children's center as the party was wrapping up, told Australia's Melbourne Herald Sun newspaper:
"Bea looked lovely and seemed to be having a wonderful time. If I did not know what had been going on in their marriage in the last few months, I would never have guessed."
Not having as wonderful a time as McCartney and Mills go through a divorce? Sir Paul's adult daughter, Stella. In response to Heather's accusation that the former Beatle choked his late wife (and Stella's mother), Linda, the older McCartney said:
"I can't believe what she's doing, I'm going to kill her ... She's been a manipulative cow from day one. The cow won't be happy until she destroys all of us - and our memories of our mother."
It's hard to argue with any of that. Or not to assume the ears of Anna Nicole Smith were burning when she heard the words "manipulative cow."